


My Name Is Tetsuya

by DisposableVillain



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: 404 cis not found, AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, AoKuro - Freeform, Aomine x OC, Boy x boy, FTM, Gay, Girl x Girl, KagaKuro - Freeform, Lesbian, M/M, OC, Original Character - Freeform, Pain, Reo's a girl, Trans, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Transgender, girl x boy, help me, how to tag, it's kuroko, mtf, non-binary, straight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2018-10-02 10:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10216226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisposableVillain/pseuds/DisposableVillain
Summary: Kuroko Tetsuya is a boy through-and-through. No one can doubt that. Except everyone on his basketball team.Will Kagami be able to help him through the year with the bigoted first years? Or will Akashi's offer prove to be too sweet for Kuroko to refuse?Transgender KurokoTW: Transphobic bullying, abuse, sexual assault.[KagaKuro, past-AoKuro, Aomine x OC]





	1. Prologue

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Kuroko Emi."

"No, I mean your real name."

Kuroko hesitated. "What do you mean? That's what's on my records-"

"I mean the name you chose for yourself." The therapist gave him a warm smile. "This room is a safe space for you to be whoever you want. So you get to go by whatever name you're most comfortable with in here. And if you change it, that's fine. If you change it, I'll change it on my records. Okay?" After a moment, Kuroko nodded. "So what's your name?"

He hesitated. "Kuroko Tetsuya."

"Is it alright if I call you Tetsuya-kun, or would you prefer Kuroko-kun?"

"Either works," he mumbled, not meeting her gaze.

"Which would you prefer?"

"Tetsuya, I guess."

She nodded. "Any middle names?" He shook his head. "What age are you, Tetsuya-kun?"

"I turned thirteen a few days ago."

"Did you do anything special?" Kuroko shrugged. "Did you hang out with your friends?"

He hesitated. "I don't have many friends."

"What about the ones you do have?"

"His name's Shigehiro."

"Did you do anything with him?"

"Yeah, we played a bit of basketball." Kuroko's expression never became anything more than neutral. "We're both planning on joining teams in Junior High."

The therapist smiled again. "Do you enjoy basketball?" Kuroko nodded. "My daughter plays basketball. Perhaps you know of her – Mibuchi Reo."

"I've heard of her," Kuroko replied. "She's in Junior High already, right?"

The therapist nodded. "Nishimachi International School. She's like you."

Kuroko said nothing for a moment. "What team does she play on?"

The therapist sighed. "She plays on the boys' team. They won't let her join the girls' but she said it doesn't bother her enough to fight it. The boys on her team are all lovely to her anyway."

Kuroko nodded. "I want to join the boys' team."

The therapist nodded. "What school are you planning on going to?"

"Teikō."

"A few of my other patients are on sports teams there. You shouldn't have a problem getting onto the boys' team." She tapped her clipboard with her pen. "I can give them a call if you'd like. What name will you be going by there?"

Kuroko blinked slowly. "I want to go by Tetsuya but my parents are saying I should wait at least another year before making that decision, so Emi."

The therapist clicked her tongue. "If you want, I can talk to your parents about that."

"They'll just say I can't make that decision so young."

"You made the decision to try to kill yourself this young." Finally, Kuroko's expression broke and he looked down. "That's not to make you feel bad, Tetsuya-kun. It's to point out that if you feel you can make the decision to do that because you can't see a time in the future where it'll be worth staying alive, you're old enough to make this decision. If your mental health is being affected by not being allowed to transition, then your parents need to take a long, hard look at why keeping you from transitioning is so important. Okay?" After a moment, Kuroko nodded. "Okay." The therapist looked at the clock. Eleven forty five. "You're only in for a taster session today, so we only have a few more minutes. Is there anything you want me to say specifically to your parents?"

Kuroko shook his head. "Can you just refer to me as Tetsuya when you're talking to them?" He mumbled. "They think it's a stage, and they only brought me here because they thought you'd see that. I think hearing you refer to me as a boy might help them see that it's not a stage."

The therapist gave him another smile. "Of course. Do you want to send them in? You can wait in the waiting room – I'll only be a few minutes with them."

Kuroko nodded and stood up, leaving the room. His parents were still in the waiting room, his mother thumbing through a magazine and his father on his phone. He cleared his throat and they looked up. "She wants to talk to you for a bit."

His mother gave him a smile and nodded. "Okay. Did you have a good session, Emi?"

Kuroko nodded. "Yeah, it was good." He took a seat as his parents left the room. There were a few magazines scattered around and he managed to find a basketball one under the fashion ones. Kyle Allums was on the cover – the first openly transgender NCAA Division One athlete. He flicked onto the interview page.

Allums was focusing more on the sport, while the interviewer seemed to be trying to get him to say what a divide there was between male and female bodies, and how hard playing on the boys' team was, and how unfair it would be for a trans woman to play on a woman's team.

He was barely finished by the time his parents came out. His dad didn't look surprised by whatever had been said, but his mother was tight-lipped and white.

"Are you ready to go?" His father asked.

Kuroko nodded and stood up. The therapist followed his parents into the waiting room and he held up the magazine. "Is it okay if I keep this?"

"Emi, put it back."

"No, no, he can have it." The therapist gave him a smile. "It's all yours, Tetsuya-kun. Not many people that come here like sports, so it won't be missed."

Kuroko nodded and placed the magazine in his bag. "Thanks." He looked up at her. "When's the next appointment?"

His mother cleared her throat. "Your father and I don't necessarily think that Takeda-san is a good match, Emi."

Kuroko didn't take his eyes off the therapist. "I think she's a good match for me, and I'm the one that needs to see her every week. When's the next appointment?"

The therapist smiled. "If it works for you, how about eleven to twelve next Tuesday?"

"She goes into school that day," his mother protested. "It's her first day."

"Wednesday or Thursday, then. You can call to confirm it." The therapist's smile grew. "You can tell me all about how your try-outs for the boys' team went, and how it felt to go in as Kuroko Tetsuya."

Kuroko's eyes widened and he glanced at his parents. His father gave him a nod, and his mother a tight, forced smile. He looked back at his therapist and bowed. "I will. Thank you very much."

"It was no trouble, Tetsuya-kun." She nodded and looked at his parents. "And if you ever need to consider counselling for yourselves, you have the card I gave you. It has a list of all nearby facilities and-"

"We'll consider it." Kuroko's mother nodded sharply. "We should go. Emi, you need to babysit for Yamada-san tonight."

Kuroko nodded. "Bye, Takeda-san," he murmured as he shouldered his bag.

"See you next week, Tetsuya-kun!"

His mother's teeth clenched and she turned to leave the room. "Let's go, Emi."


	2. Chapter One | Teikō

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so tbh I had the prologue written a while ago but I forgot to send it so here's the first chapter that I finished a few days ago! It spans from Kuroko's first day at Teikō to his first day at Seirin. Sorry if it's confusing but I didn't want it to take up more than a chapter. From the next chapter, we'll be going from his second year at Seirin. Hope you enjoy!

Teikō middle school was bigger than Kuroko had expected. He had been sick on the open day, so his parents had gone without him.

His father came back singing praises about the basketball team, and his mother about the academic records and teachers.

He walked through the campus with a book in hand. The campus map was hidden in the pages. He didn't want to approach anyone to ask them for help finding his way around, but he didn't want to get lost on the way to assembly or his first class.

He glanced towards the stalls advertising different clubs.

Basketball, basketball.

Nothing.

"Wait. What's that mean?"

Kuroko grimaced as his shoulder bumped with someone's. Neither of them had been paying attention – he had been looking somewhere else, and the other boy had been arguing with someone.

"Excuse me," Kuroko muttered before adjusting his bag strap and continuing through the crowd. He didn't pause to wait for a reaction. Reactions weren't good at the moment.

He dodged the book club as the person behind him carrying a phone book was asked to join. He wasn't noticed.

Crowds were gathered around two people as he walked – one a dark haired giant, and one a blonde model.

Kuroko stopped at a small break in the crowd and switched pages. He kept the map folded in the middle of the book, but he took another page out of his pocket.

It was small – torn out of a notebook, probably. His mother didn't exactly approve of Shigehiro.

The writing was scribbled and there was a tiny drawing of a basketball in the corner.

Let's do our best so we can get game time real soon to fulfil our promise!

"Basketball! Please join the basketball team!"

He looked up. The table was flocked with students. Slowly, he made his way over. He pretended to be interested in the manga club for a moment or two until the crowd died down a bit – he wasn't noticed.

When there were only two people left, he made his way over.

"Excuse me?" A grinning boy looked up. "Can I join?"

The boy's grin faltered as he looked at Kuroko. "Sorry, this is the boys' basketball team."

Kuroko tugged on the strap of his bag. His ears burned as he tried to ignore the other two signing up – he could feel their stares on him.

"Dyke," one of them muttered.

The other, red haired, didn't say anything.

"I am a boy," Kuroko finally mumbled. "My name's Kuroko Tetsuya."

The boy hesitated again before handing him a sign-up sheet. "Here you go. Try-outs are later today."

Kuroko nodded and pulled a pen out of his pocket. He always had a habit of carrying them there instead of his pencil case.

One of the first years scoffed and left the table. The red haired one stayed.

Kuroko's hand shook as he filled out the form. He lingered over his name for a second too long before scribbling out his name.

Kuroko Tetsuya.

His name was Kuroko Tetsuya.

His name was Kuroko Tetsuya.

He didn't see the red haired boy again until the end of the try-outs when the strings were being announced.

Of course, when they saw Kuroko lagging, the coach pulled him aside and asked if he really wanted to join the boys' team – maybe the girls' team would have been a better fit for him.

There were others that lagged behind even Kuroko, but he was the only one singled out.

He shook his head, gave a polite smile and said he was fine. Like he always did.

But he knew which string he was in before it was even announced.

"I'm announcing the test results!" The coach called, bringing everyone to a halt. "First, the third string. Line up in front of the third string coach when your name is called. Saito Nobou."

"Here!"

The boy beside Kuroko walked up towards the coach. He had laughed whenever Kuroko stumbled.

"Nakazawa Kazuhito."

"Here!"

"Fujita Hiromichi. Yuji Takagiku."

As the names were called out, Kuroko found himself hoping. He could see they were at the end of the list.

Maybe he did better than he thought.

Maybe he would get to the second string.

Maybe-

"Finally, Kuroko Tetsuya. That's all."

Nearly everyone was on the third string. He didn't know why he expected to be any higher.

No first years ever even made the first string, so the second string was the highest anyone had the chance of reaching. He wasn't that good.

He let out a breath and ran towards the third string line as the second string was called out.

"Kuroki Dai. Yagi Masao. That's all. Finally, the first string."

Kuroko froze and turned. Everyone was staring at the coach.

"Did he just say first string?"

"He's kidding, right?"

"Well they let a dyke onto the team. Maybe this is another joke?"

"Aomine Daiki. Midorima Shintaro. Murasakibara Atsushi. Akashi Seijuro. That is all."

Kuroko turned to look at the four. Everyone else was still looking at the coach.

They had been amazing. Especially for first years.

He locked eyes with the red haired one. Akashi Seijuro. He recognised him from the stand.

But Akashi's eyes wafted over him after a second.

"Those on the third string, try to do better in the next placement test."

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

Extra practice.

He had been putting it in for the last week and a half and no one else had joined him.

He heard the door open and he stumbled to a halt, almost knocking over the cones he had set out to dribble around.

He recognised the boy that walked in from _somewhere_ on the basketball team, but the other didn't acknowledge him. He just pulled off his hoodie and began stretching.

After a moment, Kuroko cleared his throat. "Uh... hello?" The boy turned, saw him, and screamed. He jumped back, and landed hard on the wooden floor. Kuroko hesitated before walking over to him. "Are you okay?" The boy didn't reply.

The appearance clicked. Dark, almost black, hair. Grey eyes – warm and sharp. Tanned skin.

Kuroko tilted his head. "Aomine-kun?"

Aomine stumbled up to his feet. "You're... you're Kuroko Tetsuya?" Kuroko nodded, and he relaxed. "Ah jeez... There've been rumours about a ghost in the gym recently so I just thought-"

Kuroko shook his head. "That must be me. I've been getting extra practice every day."

"Impressive." Aomine nodded, scanning him. "Not many are doing that. Even in the first string." He took the ball from Kuroko and bounced it a few times. He looked up at Kuroko and smiled. "Right. That's it."

Kuroko blinked. "What's it?"

Aomine threw up the ball and caught it with both hands. "I'll practice with you every day from now on. We'll try to play on the same court someday."

Kuroko hesitated. "Is... Is that okay?"

"Idiot," Aomine snorted, but his smile was kind. "It's not about whether it's okay or not. No one who plays basketball is really a bad guy."

Kuroko looked away. "That's not what I meant."

Aomine tilted his head, and then started laughing. "You mean those rumours about you being a girl? They wouldn't have let you on the team if you were one, right?" Kuroko stayed silent and Aomine's laughter died. "Wait, you're not a girl, are you?"

"No."

"Then what-?"

Kuroko reached up and pulled the neck of his shirt to the side. A skin toned binder sat under it, and it shirt was just baggy enough that when he pulled it, Aomine could see the strap and a bit of the body.

Aomine's eyes widened. "So you're a girl in disguise?"

"Idiot." Kuroko wasn't smiling. "I'm not a girl."

Aomine shrugged and threw the ball up, catching it again. "Then there's absolutely no problem."

"But-"

"You sound like you don't want me to practice with you with all of your arguing."

"No, I do." Kuroko released his shirt and the neck fell back into place. "But won't anyone give you trouble over it."

"Probably." Aomine's tone was flat. "But I really don't care. They're idiots. And no one would try to fight me anyway. If they did, I could kick their asses."

"Not third years."

Aomine snorted. "Please, of course I could. Look at this muscle." He flexed an arm, a cocky grin fixed on his face. When Kuroko didn't laugh, he dropped his arm. "Look, I don't really care what's going on between your legs or in your head. It's none of my business. But basketball's no fun if there's no one stronger than you, and the more people you help grow stronger, the more strong people in the world there are to play with you or against you. You see?"

"I..." Kuroko nodded. "I guess so."

Aomine held out his fist. Kuroko immediately tensed – instinct – but he just held it in mid-air. "Then let's get stronger together. Yeah?"

After a second, Kuroko finally returned his grin. "Yeah." He brought up his fist and knocked it against Aomine's. "Together."

* * *

"I'm going to be frank, Kuroko-kun," the coach sighed, "you staying on the team isn't really an option anymore." Kuroko's eyes widened. "I understand that you've been putting in extra practice, but even with that, your placement has fallen while everyone else has gotten better. Quitting the team isn't an order, of course. It's up to you to decide. But I don't think this is fair on anyone. If you want, I can put in a request for you to switch to the girls' team. They might be going at a better pace for you-"

Kuroko bowed, cutting him off, and left the teacher's office without saying a word.

Once off school grounds, he collapsed against a wall and started to cry.

When he finally stopped, he trudged towards the gym.

Aomine glanced at him. "I beat you here today." Kuroko didn't reply and Aomine's grin dropped. "What's wrong? Why are you still in uniform?"

"I'm quitting the team."

"What?" Aomine dropped the ball. "Why?"

Kuroko let out a shaky breath. "I love basketball, but I guess I can't be of any use to the team." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Nobody's completely useless to the team." He looked up at Aomine again. "Even if you can't play in games." His eyes narrowed. "Someone who stays later than anyone else from any string to practice can't be completely useless."

Kuroko looked away. "But the coach-"

"I don't care what he said." Aomine glared through Kuroko. "I won't say you'll definitely make it if you don't give up, but if you do give up, there's nothing left."

"Ah, Daiki." Aomine and Kuroko looked up as the red headed vice-captain approached, a green haired boy in glasses behind him. Midorima, Kuroko recognised. "I haven't seen you around. Is this where you've been?"

Aomine nodded. "Yeah. Since the other gym's always crowded, the two of us always practice here until the campus closes."

"Two?" Akashi's eyes flittered to Kuroko. He didn't jump, or even look surprised like Midorima. But Kuroko knew he hadn't been noticed. He was never noticed.

"Kuroko Tetsuya," Akashi murmured. "I'm slightly intrigued." Midorima looked more surprised at that than Kuroko's presence. Akashi smiled. "I'm sorry, but could you come with me for a moment?"

Kuroko hesitated before nodding. "Sure." He followed Akashi out to the more used gym.

Regular practice was over, so it was empty.

Akashi picked up one of the balls out of the basket and threw it to him. Kuroko fumbled but caught it. "Can you try and score a point?"

Kuroko nodded. "A one-on-one or-?"

"No." Akashi watched. "Just try to score it."

Kuroko swallowed and walked over to the hoop. He took a breath, aimed, and threw the ball. It bounced on the rim and he ran to catch it.

"This is a first for me," Akashi admitted. "I've never seen anyone work this hard at sports and yet have their efforts go so unrewarded." Kuroko looked away. "Sorry, let me rephrase. Your motor skills aren't terrible. Your career and amount of practice is enough to call you a veteran. Yet you have absolutely no presence. It's... peculiar." He looked away. "Practice hard in any sport and one's presence will grow. It's bound to show. But you lack it altogether. This isn't a fault. More of an advantage. If you can work on it, it could be an enormous weapon for the team."

Kuroko shook his head. "Work on a lack of presence? Can I even do that?"

Akashi smiled and picked up his bag. "When you find out, come and see me."

Kuroko turned and watched him leave the gym. Had it just been his imagination, or had one of Akashi's eyes changed colour?

* * *

"Oi."

Kuroko looked up from his book. "Yes?"

"You bumped into me." The purple giant from string one. Murasakibara.

Kuroko looked at his book again. "No. I think you'll find that you bumped into me."

"Oh. Well you should watch where you're going anyway." Murasakibara tilted his head. "You're the girl on the basketball team, right?"

"I'm not a girl," Kuroko muttered.

Murasakibara blinked. "Oh, really? Sorry. You're in the third string, right?"

Kuroko nodded. "And you're in the first."

"Yeah, that's right. What are you reading?" Murasakibara grabbed his book and pulled it closer. "Misdirection? What's that?"

Kuroko reached up for the book, but he was below average height even for a Japanese national, and Murasakibara was far, far above average. "It's a trick. A lot of people use it in magic shows."

"Eh? You do magic?" Murasakibara looked down at him. There was a small smile on his face.

"No, sorry." Kuroko grabbed his book and pulled. Murasakibara released it too easily and he stumbled back.

"Oh. That's too bad." Murasakibara reached into his pocket and pulled out a lollipop. "Do you want to eat lunch together?"

After a beat, Kuroko nodded. "Sure."

"Where do you usually eat?"

"I don't."

"That's no good." Murasakibara reached into his pocket again. "You need to eat." He pulled out a chocolate bar and held it out to Kuroko.

Kuroko shook his head. "I'm not very hungry though."

"You still gotta eat." Murasakibara tried to hand the chocolate to him. "Take it."

"I don't like chocolate."

"Huh?" Murasakibara blinked. "Who doesn't like chocolate?"

"Me."

"You're a bit weird." He put the chocolate bar back. "Do you have any lunch with you?" Kuroko nodded. "Then you should eat that."

"Okay. Where do you usually eat?"

Murasakibara shrugged. "The courtyard, I think?"

Kuroko nodded. "Okay. Do you want to go out there then?" He was beginning to grow a bit accustomed to Murasakibara's attitude. It was child-like, and he didn't seem to have much of an attention span. "Do you play games other than basketball?"

"Yeah." Murasakibara opened the lollipop. "I like video games. Do you have an Xbox?"

"No, but I have a PS3."

"I have one of those too." Murasakibara popped the lollipop into his mouth as they began walking. "What games do you play?" He mumbled around the sweet.

"I like _Oblivion_."

"Me too." He looked over at Kuroko. "What race did you pick?"

"Khajit. You?"

"Argonian. I don't like cats very much."

"I like dogs."

Murasakibara nodded. "Me too. Do you have one?"

"No. My mother says they're too expensive," Kuroko replied as they reached the courtyard.

Murasakibara plopped down in the middle of the yard. Kuroko hesitated before sitting down too. It was laundry day anyway, so hopefully his mother wouldn't mind if his pants got a bit dirty.

Murasakibara tilted his head. "Were you a girl?"

He was right about the taller boy's attention span. It was as absent as Kuroko's presence. "What do you mean?"

"Were you born a girl?"

Kuroko hesitated. "Biologically, yes. I never felt like one."

Murasakibara hummed. "I could never be a girl."

"Me neither."

"Yeah, you'd look uncomfortable in the girls' uniform." Murasakibara took the lollipop stick out of his mouth and threw it. It landed in the bin. "I like you as a boy."

Kuroko couldn't help but smile. "I like me as a boy too."

* * *

"Hey, Akashi! You have a visitor!"

Akashi looked up to see Kuroko peering into the gym from the door. "Thanks." He ran up towards him as the player than had called him disappeared back into training. "Well Kuroko. It's been three months. Have you found the answer?"

Straight to business. As always.

Kuroko nodded. "Yes."

"Then let's start the test." Akashi turned away.

"Uh..." Kuroko licked his lips. "If possible, could you look at it in a game?"

After a second, Akashi nodded. "I'll see what I can do." He made his way towards the team captain. "Nijimura-san. About what I mentioned a while back."

Nijimura looked up as Akashi approached with Kuroko trailing behind. "Oh. He's the one, huh?"

Akashi nodded. "He says he's ready. Could we arrange a practice match? Just a quarter."

Nijimura sighed but nodded. "Alright!" He called. "Line up! Practice match between second and third string! Second string, orange bibs. Third string, yellow bibs. Let's go!"

It only took a few minutes before the match began, and Kuroko was placed on the starting line. He waited a few minutes before beginning.

"Fujita-kun!" He redirected the ball coming at him towards Fujita. The other barely caught it, but he darted down the court and scored.

Kuroko could feel Akashi's gaze on him, and when he glanced at the vice-captain, he was mumbling something to Nijimura.

The second string seemed to be struggling to figure out how the third was suddenly five points ahead.

"Block Kuroko. She's doing something weird."

And yet they could never seem to keep track of him long enough to block the ball from reaching him. Even when they tried, Kuroko passed it back the way it had come.

"What is this?" Nijimura muttered to Akashi. "I'm surprised about the passes, but I keep losing him even though I'm trying to focus specifically on him."

"Misdirection." Akashi's eyes narrowed. Even he was struggling to watch Kuroko. "A technique to guide lines of sight often used in magic tricks. For instance, Kuroko uses gestures to guide people's sights to the ball or other players rather than himself. Coupled with his original lack of presence, he disappears from the court like a phantom."

The game ended all too soon, and despite it only taking fifteen minutes, the score ended at 25-31 to the third string.

"Did you know all along it would end like this?" Nijimura asked.

Akashi looked away, smiling. "You give me far too much credit." He looked back at Kuroko to see him out of breath, but tense – still ready to play. "No. This goes far beyond my expectations."

The coach's eyes were narrowed as Kuroko ran towards them. "I'm afraid your position in third string can't be changed, Kuroko-kun."

Akashi's eyes snapped up, cold and hard. "Why not?"

The coach sighed and adjusted his glasses. "Your parents have informed me of your situation," he admitted, looking at Kuroko, "but the fact still remains that you are not a boy. You have been allowed on the boys' team and are already struggling with training. First string requires a lot more physical ability. Physical ability that you don't have. We're not making you quit but-"

"But you're going to force him to stay in the third string when his abilities would greatly benefit the team?" Akashi finished.

Kuroko looked away when the coach sighed. "It's not as simple as that."

"Akashi-san, leave it. It's fine," Kuroko mumbled.

"No, actually. It's not."

Kuroko blinked in surprise and looked up at him.

Akashi's arms folded. "Kuroko is a good player, as he has just demonstrated. The third string has never gotten more than ten points off the second string before, and they've never won before. Now, they won by seven points."

"In a one quarter practice game," the coach reminded him.

"Just like the ones they used to play." Akashi's eyes narrowed. There – did his eyes change again? "Kuroko is registered as a boy. He has a boy's name. He uses male pronouns. He wears the boys' uniform, uses the boys' bathroom, and changes in the boys' changing room. He is a part of the Teikō basketball team. He used to be on third string and _he is now on first string_."

"You don't get to make that decision."

"I do." Nijimura cut in. "And I believe Kuroko would be a perfect addition to the team."

"She's-"

" _He_ has just proven his ability after nearly a full year of practicing until campus closes every evening." Akashi raised an eyebrow. "Now, unless you want us to go to the principal, I believe we should rule in favour of democracy. We both feel Kuroko should be a part of the team."

After a moment, the coach scowled. "Go talk to the school sports coordinator, Kuroko-kun. He should be in the teacher's office."

Sure enough, it didn't take long for Kuroko to find him and fill him in on everything.

After a minute of paperwork, the co-ordinator smiled up at Kuroko. "Congratulations, Kuroko-kun. From today, you're first string. You saw a chance, and you made it yours."

Kuroko nodded, a huge grin on his face. "Thank you, sir."

"Excuse me?" A voice called before the co-ordinator could reply. Kuroko stepped back as a girl with pink hair pulled into a braid walked up. He recognised her – she helped out with basketball a lot. Momo? Momoi? Momoi. "Is Kuroko-kun here?"

"Oh. That's me." Kuroko stepped forward again. Momoi turned, her gaze fixing on him. After a second she jumped back. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah. Sorry, I didn't see you."

Kuroko nodded. "It's okay. I get that a lot."

Momoi let out a shaky breath and relaxed. "The first string team wanted me to bring you to practice."

Kuroko's smile returned and he nodded. They bowed to the co-ordinator, and he followed Momoi out of the office towards the gym.

When they reached it, she pushed the door open. "I brought Kuroko Tetsuya."

"Thanks!" Nijimura called as Kuroko stepped into the gym.

Aomine looked up, standing out of a stretch. "Tetsu! You finally got here!"

Akashi turned and gave him a smile – not like his usual polite one, but not warm either. "Hey, we've been waiting for you." His smile grew and he held out his hand. "Welcome to the first string of the Teikō basketball team." Kuroko took a breath as his glanced around. No one wasn't looking at him. "Take a look, and engrave this into your mind." Akashi's eyes narrowed. "From now on, you only have one mission. To win."

* * *

"Ne, they really need to clean this locker room," Kise sighed. It was his first day on string one.

He understood that being on the first string didn't change anything. It wasn't all spotlights and stars – just like modelling. But he couldn't help but feel disappointed when the locker room smelled even worse after practice.

"I know, right?" Aomine yawned. "But student council got the school a new piano instead."

"Why?" Kise rolled his eyes.

"Because the music class needed one and the showers in here still work." Akashi spoke from behind, making them both jump. "Now get inside and stop complaining." He pushed past them.

Kise stared after him. "Akashi's scary..."

"No kidding." Aomine shook his head. "You get used to him though. C'mon." He led the way into the changing room.

A few people were already in the showers, and coming out of them. Kise pulled off his shirt and dumped it on a bench. "So we practice three times a week?"

"Except coming up to qualifiers," Aomine confirmed. "We'll be practicing for three hours every day starting sometime next month."

"What? That's insane," Kise grumbled, pulling down his pants.

"It's not that bad," spoke a voice next to him. "You just need to get used to it."

Kise blinked and turned, then flung himself behind Aomine. "What the hell?"

Kuroko tilted his head, hand on the towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was flat against his head, still saturated with water, and he looked out of breath from trying to pull his binder on in a shower stall. "What is it?"

"Why are you in here and not the girls' changing room?" Kise asked, his voice shaking. He still – thankfully – had his boxers on.

The changing room had fallen silent aside from the sound of water gushing from showers.

Aomine knocked Kise away from him. "Tetsu's here 'cause he's a _boy_ , on the _boys'_ team, and this is a _boys_ ' changing room," he replied, turning to glare at Kise.

Kise hesitated, eyes flicking towards Kuroko. "But-" His eyes ran down to Kuroko's binder.

Kuroko didn't seem phased. "Kise-kun. My eyes are up here."

Kise's eyes snapped away from him altogether. "I-I-I thought you were a girl."

Kuroko shrugged and pulled a t-shirt over his head. "It happens." He didn't seem bothered, though Aomine still glared at Kise.

The blonde grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, despite his boxers, and made his way back over to Kuroko once people began ignoring them again.

"Ne, Kuroko?" Kuroko looked up at him. Kise hesitated. "Do... Do you... y'know... have a-"

"Do _you_ have a penis?" Kuroko shot back, looking away.

Kise's eyes widened. "What? Why would you ask something like that?"

"You were asking him. Why shouldn't he ask you?" Aomine glared over at him.

Kise hesitated. "I... I guess..."

Kuroko pulled on a pair of boxers and jeans without disrupting his towel. Then he pulled off the towel and folded it into his bag. "I'll see you guys tomorrow." He picked up his bag and walked out of the room, leaving Aomine and Kise to bicker.

None of the team noticed Haizaki follow him out.

Kuroko himself didn't notice. Not until the other shoved him up against the wall by the burner.

He looked up at Haizaki. "Can I help you?"

"You're a freak. You know that?" Haizaki snarled. Spittle flew out of his mouth and landed on Kuroko's face.

Kuroko grimaced. "Please let go of me," he requested in a monotone voice.

He had found that monotone voices tended to irritate people enough that they were too irritated to bother trying to irritate him anymore. But that seemed to be only in his friend circle of Aomine, Murasakibara, and Momoi, for Haizaki shoved him to the ground and grabbed his bag off his shoulder.

"You shouldn't have ever been allowed on the boys' team."

"Give that back, Haizaki-san." Kuroko climbed to his feet and extended his hand for his bag.

Haizaki's eye twitched. "You want it? Go fucking catch, bitch." He flung the bag into the rubbish incinerator. Kuroko's eyes widened.

Phone. Books. Notes. His uniform. Everything was in that bag.

"What are you waiting for?" Haizaki grabbed his shoulders and shoved him towards the incinerator. "I said go fetch!"

Kuroko yelled as he hit the hot metal, but a pair of arms caught him and hauled him away before he could fall in.

"Tetsu, are you okay?"

His head was spinning.

"Back the fuck off, Kise. You don't want to get into this on your first day."

"You back off and leave Kuroko alone! He hasn't done anything to you!"

A snort. " _It_ doesn't even deserve a name."

"Say that again." Kise. He recognised the flash of blonde and the silver glint of his earing. "I dare you."

"I said-"

"What's going on here?"

The new voice silenced everyone. Kuroko slowly looked up to see Akashi standing at the corner, eyes narrowed into a dark glare.

No. Not Akashi. Kuroko knew he wasn't imagining it now. The red haired boy had one amber eye and one crimson.

"Nothing," Haizaki muttered.

"Nothing my ass! He burned Kurokocchi's bag and tried to push him into the incinerator!" Kise roared.

The vice-captain's gaze flickered between them, and over to Kuroko. His eyes flickered back to their normal crimson colour – both of them.

"We were just messing," Haizaki sighed. "These two got dramatic. As usual."

"Kuroko?" Akashi raised an eyebrow. Kuroko looked away. "Haizaki, you'll pay for Kuroko's replacement books, uniform, bag, and anything else that was inside it."

"What? That's bullshit – you can't make me do that!"

The second Akashi looked away from Kuroko, his heterochromatic eyes were back. "You're right. If you want, we can go to the captain, coach, co-ordinator, and principal and you could be expelled for burning another student's property, and the police could be called for attempted murder."

"I didn't try to fucking murder him."

"Really?" Akashi almost looked amused. "That's not what I'm hearing. And it's not what the police will hear either." After a moment, Haizaki growled and stormed off. "If he doesn't repay you, just let me know."

"It's fine." Kuroko clambered up to his feet, and Aomine caught him.

"Tetsu, your arm's burnt."

"Hang on." Kise reached into his bag. "My mom makes me carry around a medical kit. I think I have some anti-inflammatory cream or something..."

Akashi didn't take his eyes off Kuroko. "If he doesn't repay you," he repeated, his eyes not changing back to normal, "just let me know."

Kuroko swallowed. Why wasn't anyone else noticing this? "I will."

Slowly, Akashi nodded. "Good."

* * *

Just like at Teikō, the basketball team try-outs took place on the first day of high school at Seirin.

Kuroko found himself close to the back again. As usual, he couldn't see over the people gathered there. He had grown since starting hormone blockers and testosterone, but overall, his family had a history of being short, and they weren't going to change that.

In front of him, one of the first years nudged another and pointed to the girl standing in the middle of the gym talking to one of the current team members. "Hey, isn't the manager cute?"

"Yeah, she's a second year, right?" The other sighed. "If only she was a little sexier."

Kuroko glanced at the girl. She wore a whistle, but carried a clipboard. Maybe she collected game data on all players like Momoi had?

Kuroko looked back at the boys' as the team captain whacked the back of their heads. "Stop gossiping. You're wrong anyway."

The girl walked over to the group of first years and grinned. "I'm the boys' basketball team coach. Aida Riko. It's nice to meet you."

A small smile crossed Kuroko's face. Good. They deserved all of the shock present on their faces.

One of the boys pointed at the elderly man in the corner. "It's not him?"

Riko glanced back and chuckled. "No, this is our advisor. Takeda-sensei.

"Seriously?"

"You've got to be kidding!"

Riko's smile only grew. "Now that you're acquainted with Takeda-sensei, I'll have all of you take off your shirts."

No one moved. "What? Why?"

"Do it, or you can leave my gymnasium." Riko's smile became a smirk. "In a line. Now."

Slowly, everyone complied. Kuroko stood at the end, leaving his shirt on. Maybe he could say something when she reached him or something. Excluding him, only eight people had tried out.

And Riko went along examining all of them

"You're not very explosive. Your limit seems to be about fifty side jumps in twenty seconds. You'll need to do better for the basketball team. And you – you're too stiff. Do some stretches after you bathe. And work on core muslces."

"How does she know this?" A boy near Kuroko hissed.

The captain chuckled. "Her dad's a sports trainer. Collecting data and organising a training regimen is a skill she's picked up through observation of bodies and data at his workplace every day as a child. When she looks at your bodies, all she can say is your physical ability displayed in numbers."

Kuroko tensed as Riko stopped, but she wasn't staring at him. The boy next to him.

Red hair – tall, broad, and muscles. Narrow, dark eyes and tanned skin.

"What?" His scowl deepened as he looked at Riko.

"Coach! What are you looking at?" The captain called.

Riko looked down at her clipboard. "Right, uh..."

"You looked at all of them. Kagami's the last one."

Ah. Kagami Taiga. The boy that had signed up at the same time as Kuroko.

"Really?" Riko frowned at her clipboard and looked around. "Is Kuroko here?"

Kuroko hesitated.

"Oh, that kid from Teikō?"

Riko sighed. "Looks like he's not here. Alright, let's start practice!"

Kuroko swallowed and stepped forward. "Uh, excuse me." Riko froze. "I'm Kuroko."

Slowly, Riko's hand lowered – sharp, jerky movements – and a shriek escaped her mouth.

Everyone was staring at either him or Riko.

"When did he get here?" The captain hissed.

Riko was still staring at him, eyes wide and face pale.

"This guy's seriously part of the Generation of Miracles?" Another first year scoffed. Kuroko glanced at him. "He couldn't have been a regular, right?"

Kuroko shrugged. "I've played in games." He looked away and his eyes ended up on Kagami. He was the only one that didn't look impressed.

Riko cleared her throat. "You'll need to take off your shirt."

Kuroko hesitated. "I-"

"Unless you want to leave."

After a moment, Kuroko nodded and pulled his t-shirt up over his head. He left his binder on.

A few people exchanged glances, but when Riko said nothing, neither did they. Her eyes only widened when she finished looking Kuroko up and down.

He knew what she was seeing. Ridiculously low numbers, and yet he had played in games. He held her gaze, only for a moment. She was the first to break it.

"Alright. Shirts back on – let's start practice."

* * *

Kuroko saw Kagami enter the fast food restaurant – saw him order _literally_ twenty or more burgers, saw him walk closer. And yet Kagami never saw him.

Even as he sat at Kuroko's table.

Kuroko slowly took a sip of his milkshake as Kagami unwrapped a burger. He looked out the window as he took a bite, and his gaze wandered to Kuroko.

They stalled for a second, and he choked on the burger in his mouth.

"Hello."

Kagami swallowed his burger hard and coughed. "Where'd you come from?"

"I was sitting here first." Kuroko took another sip. "I like their vanilla shakes."

Kagami shook his head and looked away. "Go somewhere else."

Kuroko blinked. "I don't want to."

Kagami leaned closer. "Yeah? Well if someone sees us, they'll think we're friends and I don't want that."

Kuroko frowned. "No. I usually come here. I'm not leaving."

Kagami huffed. He picked up a burger despite not finishing his current burger, and threw it at Kuroko. Kuroko barely caught it. "I don't like guys who suck at basketball, but after the game today, you've earned yourself one of those."

Kuroko looked back up at him. "Thanks." There was a small smile on his face. He unwrapped the burger. "Are you really going to eat all of those by yourself?"

Kagami snorted and finished the first burger in practically a swallow. "Watch me." He was done before Kuroko finished his milkshake.

"You're just like Aomine," Kuroko mumbled as they left the restaurant.

Kagami hummed. "Just how strong is the Generation of Miracles?" He glanced down at Kuroko. "If I played them now, what would happen?"

Kuroko finished his milkshake. "You'd be destroyed. Instantly."

Kagami glared at him. "Do you need to say it like that?"

Kuroko dropped his milkshake carton into a bin. "All five have each gone on to play for their own schools. One of those schools will stand at the top." They paused at traffic lights, waiting for them to turn green.

Kagami couldn't help it. He started laughing. " _Good_." Kuroko glanced at him. "That's the kind of thing that pushes me." His eyes narrowed. "I'm going to defeat them all and become the best player in Japan."

"I don't think that's possible," Kuroko admitted.

"Hey!" Kagami snapped.

Kuroko shrugged. "I don't know if you have a hidden talent or not, but you wouldn't be able to reach their feet as you are now." The light turned green and Kuroko half-jogged to the other side of the street while Kagami walked. "You can't do it alone." He looked up as Kagami joined him. "I'm a shadow. But the stronger the light, the darker the shadow, and the brighter the light seems." Kagami's eyes were wide. "I'll be the shadow for your light and make you the best player in Japan." He hesitated. "If you'll allow it."

Kagami's grin slowly returned. "I don't care what the fuck you identify as. Do what you want. If you want to be my shadow or whatever, do it."

Kuroko smiled – bigger than usual. His neutral expressions were growing easier to hold, but Kagami was the first person since Aomine and Kise to say something like that.

"Thank you. I'll do my best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! From now on it's going to be Kuroko's second year at Seirin. Please vote and review. See you next time, Murdering Majestors!


	3. Chapter Two | Watch Your Back

**Hey again. Sorry about the long wait! I could have sworn I'd posted this before now. Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Reviews:**

####  **KurokoのHaremのHitori:** Glad you're enjoying it! But yeah, Haizaki's terrible.

 **SnowLikeStardust:** Glad you like it so far!

 **ZuzuZuluMakHar:** Yeeee

* * *

 

"I told you we weren't going to beat them," Koganei whined as Riko blew her whistle.

"Yeah, yeah," Hyuuga sighed as he wiped sweat off his forehead. "We know. You told us." He glanced back at Koganei. "But you're also the one that wanted to play."

Koganei rolled his shoulders and looked up at the scoreboard. "Playing in matches is fun, even if it's practice and you're going to lose."

24:39. The second years were getting better.

Kagami grinned. He was out of breath, but his eyes were bright. No one knew how, but they were all certain that he had grown more over the summer.

He was the only one who didn't seem too exerted on his team. Everyone else was bent over their knees, panting for breath.

Riko scowled at them. "Didn't you practice over the summer?"

"I practiced with Kagami nearly every day," Kuroko panted, looking up at her.

Riko sighed. Kuroko's physical ability hadn't gotten any better. She turned to the other second years. "You all need to do better. Kagami and Kuroko carried you during that match."

"We can't help it if we're not up to their level."

Oh. Hyuuga tensed. That was  _not_  going to end well.

Kawahara seemed to know that he had messed up the second the words had left his mouth. He dropped into a bow. "I'm sorry! I just meant Kagami has a better physical ability than us!"

"That's true," Riko agreed, walking towards him. "But that doesn't mean that you get to slack off. After this year, you'll be the seniors. You'll be the ones on the starting line, leading by example. And right now, you're in nowhere near the stage you need to be at." Her gaze flickered to Fukuda, but when it landed on Furihata, she nodded. "You did well." Then she turned away. "I'll go get the first years."

Kagami blinked and snorted. "I almost forgot about the try-outs," he admitted as Riko walked away.

Kuroko sighed and stood, still out of breath, but no longer gasping to fill his lungs. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kagami glared at him.

Kuroko shrugged and looked towards the door as Riko led the troop of first years into the gym. He counted eight.

"Not a bad lot this year," Hyuuga murmured, watching them line up. "Still less than we should have gotten."

Kiyoshi chuckled. "You can't expect everyone to show a sudden interest just because we won the Winter Cup."

Hyuuga folded his arms and Kagami scoffed. "Yes we can."

"Welcome to the try-outs for the Seirin Basketball Team." Riko smiled at the first years, ignoring the older players. "I'm Aida Riko – the team coach."

Just like the previous year, mutters and shocked looks ran around the group.

"I thought it was that guy!"

Riko looked back. Takeda. Again.

Kuroko didn't even know how the first years thought he could coach them when he couldn't walk.

"No, he's our advisor. Takeda-sensei. If you have a problem with that, you can easily leave." Riko's smile grew. "Now, take off your shirts."

There was less of a shock to this than the previous year, though Kuroko noticed a few first years still staring at Riko as she watched. One hesitated, lowered his shirt again, and left the gym.

Seven students were left.

"She's enjoying this too much," one snickered to another.

Riko shot him a glare. "You can't even do fifty side-lunges in a minute. You'll need to do a  _lot_  better if you want to make the team." She continued through them before her eyes landed on the final one.

Kuroko watched. She didn't react the same way as she had to Kagami. He didn't expect her to.

But she did seem surprised by the numbers she was seeing.

The boy raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?" He was smirking.

Riko turned away from him. "No. Shirts back on; let's start warm-ups."

"She was checking you out," a first year snorted to the one Riko had paused at.

Kuroko frowned at them. "Please concentrate on the warm-up." He turned away from them, but he didn't miss the mocking look on the first boy's face.

Riko ignored them. After the usual lunges, stretches, and short sprints, she clapped her hands. "Let's do a one-quarter practice game. Hyuuga, Mitobe, you're team captains." The two walked to opposite sides of her. "Koganei, with Hyuuga. Izuki, Mitobe." She listed out everyone until she got to Kagami and Kuroko. "Kuroko, Hyuuga. Kagami, Mitobe."

Kagami's head snapped towards her. "What? But we've been working all summer-"

"And there are going to be some matches where you won't be able to play at the same time, so you need to get used to that." She smiled. "Kuroko, Hyuuga. Kagami, Mitobe."

Kuroko strode over to Hyuuga and Kagami huffed but walked over to the other captain.

Riko hummed and looked over the first years. "Fujimoto, Hyuuga. Watanabe, Mitobe. Tachibana, Hyuuga."

Tachibana. The boy Riko had paused at.

Kuroko managed to get a good look at him as he walked over. Bright orange hair brushed and gelled into a comb-over, dark brown eyes. His skin was similar in colour to Aomine's, maybe a little lighter. A lip piercing hung from his mouth, and two studs rested on his left ear.

He gave Kuroko a smirk as he walked past him. Surprising; aside from Kagami and Riko, he seemed to be the only one to notice him unless he spoke.

Hopefully that would last into the match.

"Alright, Hyuuga, your team is bibs. Mitobe, no-bibs. Let's go!"

Kuroko fell into the game process quickly. They played with everyone, so it was crowded, but it was the best way to watch the first years playing with and against everyone.

Kuroko found himself easily passing to Tachibana more than anyone else. The boy just seemed to always be in the right place, or able to get to the right place in time for the pass.

But Kuroko forgot that he couldn't use some of his passes and ended up letting Mitobe's team score a few points at the start.

"Dude," Fujimoto complained as Kuroko panted for breath in the pause after a point was won. "Do you want us to lose or something?"

"No. You're just not as good as I'm used to." Kuroko used the hem of his shirt to wipe his sweat away and let it fall back into place. "I'll try to remember your level."

Fujimoto opened his mouth to retort, but his eyes dropped to Kuroko's shoulder. "What the fuck?"

"Fujimoto, are you playing or not?" Someone complained. Kuroko didn't know their name yet.

"That guy's a girl! See, she's wearing a sports bra!" Fujimoto called, pointing to Kuroko.

Kuroko quickly pulled his shirt so it hid the strap as the game fell to silence.

"Aren't you guys going to do anything?" Fujimoto looked around at the second and third years.

"Kuroko's part of the team. What do you want us to do?" Hyuuga folded his arms.

"She's a girl and it's a boys' team!" Watanabe snapped.

"Do you want to fucking go?" Kagami growled, stalking towards him. Kuroko caught his arm, stopping him from reaching the boy.

Riko locked eyes with Kuroko, and he looked away. The coach blew her whistle. "Practice game is over at a draw," she called. "Go change. Practice is for two hours after school every Wednesday and Friday, and one hour every other day."

Hyuuga's team threw off their bibs. The older players folded them and the younger threw them into a pile.

"I'm not changing with her in the room," Kuroko heard Watanabe mutter as he passed.

If he hadn't still been holding Kagami's arm, Kuroko knew he would have grabbed the first year. "Leave it," he muttered. "It's better than being called it."

"You still shouldn't have to deal with that shit," Kagami protested, looking down at him.

Kuroko wouldn't meet his gaze. "Let's just get our bags and go for some burgers. We don't need to change." Kagami didn't argue.

* * *

"I can't believe you got away with not having your summer homework done," Kagami grumbled, dropping onto the floor of the roof.

Kuroko was already sitting and didn't look up when Kagami spoke. "Detention ended early today."

"Yeah, 'cause it's the second day." Kagami glared at him. "And that wasn't my point."

"It's not my fault if the teacher didn't check my homework." There was a small smile on Kuroko's lips and Kagami grabbed him, ruffling his hair as much as he could.

"You little asshole, you used your misdirection so he wouldn't see you!"

Kuroko started laughing and pushed at Kagami's chest, trying to get out of his grip. "No I didn't! I was just lucky, I swear!"

"Sure you were," Kagami scoffed but released him.

Kuroko brushed out his hair with his fingers. "At least they don't cut extra-curricular activities if you get too many detentions. The only reason Aomine was never cut was because of how good he was."

"Jerk." Kagami unwrapped his first sandwich.

Kuroko rolled his eyes. "I don't know why you two still pretend to hate one another."

"What do you mean 'pretend'?"

"I mean I saw you guys kiss at the fourth of July party you threw." Kuroko smirked. It had been for Alex mainly – she always got a bit homesick, so they had invited a few friends over, ate cake, drank a little, and pretended to know what they were celebrating.

Kagami's face started to burn. "We were drunk as hell, that doesn't count!"

"Does too!"

"Well..." Kagami fumbled for words. "I saw you kiss him too!" He snapped in English.

Kuroko blinked. "What was that?"

"I said I saw you kiss him at New Year's," Kagami translated.

Kuroko shrugged and looked up at the sky. "So?"

"So? So you kissed!"

"So did you."

"Doesn't count." Kagami folded his arms.

"Does too." Kuroko cracked a smile. "And anyway, everyone was kissing someone."

"Still." Kagami opened his lunchbox and tore into his sandwich. "You looking forward to practice?"

Kuroko hummed. "Sort of. Coach's planning a game with another school, right?"

"I think so." Kagami swallowed hard. "And what was with the lukewarm reaction?"

Kuroko's gaze flickered to him again. "Nothing."

"Don't nothing me." Kagami shifted to look at him. "Did what those guys said bother you?"

"A bit."

"How much is  _a bit_?"

"Just that." Kuroko shrugged one shoulder. "A bit."

Kagami watched him for a moment and sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't do anything."

"I didn't want you to." Kuroko stared up at the sky though the brightness made him squint. "You can't fight all of my battles for me, Kagami-kun."

"I know but I can help with some of them." Kagami kicked the ground.

Kuroko shook his head. "I really don't mind," he mumbled. "I had similar reactions at Teikō."

"So? That doesn't mean you should have, or that you should have had to deal with that yesterday." Kagami's natural scowl deepened.

"I'll get used to it."

"You will in your fucking ass get used to it," Kagami snapped in English. Kuroko didn't even have to look at him before he corrected himself again. "Sorry. You're not going to have to get used to it. We're sorting this out during practice."

"I don't want to draw attention to myself."

He knew from experience what attention did. Attention was bad.

Attention made characters like Haizaki notice him. The experience still terrified him – and it had grown with age. He never went near the incinerator anymore. He always refused to bring anything down there as a classroom chore, so eventually, the teacher had stopped asking.

Attention made characters like Akashi notice him. That only drew more attention, which drew more attention, which drew more attention. He couldn't deal with that.

"You won't." Kagami hesitated. "Well, maybe a little. But if we don't do something, it'll get bigger until it's too hard for you to handle."

"I don't think it'll be that bad."

"You're right. It won't. Because we're not going to let it." Kagami stood and walked around Kuroko until he was looking down at him and the other boy was meeting his gaze. "Just let me handle it. Just this once."

Kuroko sighed – long, low, and slow. "I really don't think this is a good idea." He knew it was a losing battle. Once Kagami had an idea in his head that he was doing the right thing, that was it. There was no convincing him to do anything else.

"I'm sure that it is," Kagami insisted. "Please."

Kuroko closed his eyes for a moment. "Okay," he mumbled. "Okay, we'll try to sort it out at practice." Despite Kagami's smile, the sinking feeling in his chest only got worse as he agreed.

* * *

Kuroko avoided the boys' changing rooms that day. Kagami didn't try to talk him into it – he went into the boys' bathroom and changed in the cubicles with him instead.

Once in the gym, they both made a beeline towards Riko. Riko didn't even look up. "Kagami, your shirt's on backwards."

"So?"

"So fix it." She sighed, her eyes flicking down and across a sheet full of statistics.

"Later. Coach, you saw what happened yesterday," Kagami snapped.

"And I didn't react because I didn't think Kuroko would want that." Riko looked up at Kuroko. She had calmed down a lot since their first year. "Was I wrong?"

Kuroko looked away. "No."

"But we want you to do something today," Kagami jumped in. "Can you talk to them before practice? They'll listen to you."

Riko hummed. "I'll try," she assured him, "but you're giving me too much credit." Her eyes flickered to the group of first years as they walked in. "I think they're going to be more of a challenge than any team we face this year."

Kuroko followed her gaze and locked eyes with Tachibana for a second. The other smiled, cold and hard, while his eyes glinted bright and intelligent.

She was right, and it scared him.

"But you'll talk to them?" Kagami confirmed.

Riko snorted. "Bakagami. Of course I'll talk to them." She stood up and walked over to the first years. "It's your first official practice, and you're already late."

"But we had to change," Watanabe protested.

Riko shrugged. "So did the second and third years, and they were in the gym at exactly five and are already finished stretching."

"They're not." Fujimoto pointed to Kuroko and Kagami.

"That's because they came to me to raise an issue with me." Riko's eyes narrowed and she clapped her hands. "Everyone, gather up. Second and third years too." Everyone circled around her. The first years were trapped in the middle so they couldn't escape. "We never really addressed this last year, so I want to make this perfectly clear to everyone – although we haven't had any issues until now." Riko folded her arms. "Kuroko is a transgender  _man_. He plays on the  _boys'_  basketball at Seirin. He played on this team last year. He played on the  _boys'_  team at Teikō middle school when he attended. He wears the  _boys'_ uniform, uses the  _boys'_  bathroom, and changes in the  _boys'_ changing room. He's a boy and he has just as much right as everyone else to be on this team, if not more." Her eyes moved from Fujimoto, to Watanabe, to Nakamura, to Kuroda, Akimoto, to Saruwatari, to Tachibana. "His name is Kuroko Tetsuya. His old name is none of your business. He wears a sports bra during practice because it's not particularly safe for him to wear a binder during it. His chest and genitals are none of your business. Where he's at in his transition is none of your business. The only thing that is your business is what he chooses to disclose to you himself, and then, it is no one else's business so you don't tell anyone else. He uses he and him as pronouns. Not she and her, not they and them, and certainly not it. Understood?" The second and third years nodded. Riko glared at the group of first years. "I said  _understood_?" Tachibana was the first to nod, but his eyes hadn't changed. "Good." She looked to each one of them again. "Anyone who has a problem with Kuroko can leave. We don't want you on the team. Kuroko is one of our best players. Anyone bullying him in any way will be kicked off. Understood?" Again, Tachibana led the round of nods. "Good. Start stretching and warm-ups. Fifty side lunges." She blew her whistle.

Everyone lined up on one side of the court and began. Kuroko ended up between Fujimoto and Kagami.

"So your name is Tetsuya?" Fujimoto asked.

Kuroko didn't like the grin on his face. "I'd prefer if you called me Kuroko."

"So why did you transition, Tetsuya?"

Kuroko gritted his teeth. "That's my business."

"Oh come on, I'm just trying to be friendly." Fujimoto's grin grew.

"Please let me just warm up."

"Fujimoto." Fujimoto glanced to the side and Kuroko followed his gaze to see Tachibana beside him. "Lay off him."

"Well then I don't want to be near her." Fujimoto grumbled and used his side-lunges to move around Tachibana so he was no longer beside Kuroko.

"Him," Tachibana corrected before Kuroko could.

Kuroko hesitated, watching the orange-haired boy. Maybe he had been wrong about him?

But when Tachibana turned to him, his eyes were bright and face cold again. "Just know this," he murmured so even Kagami and Fujimoto couldn't hear him. Kuroko could barely even catch what he was saying. "We only get kicked if we're  _caught_  bullying you. Watch your back, Kuroko Tetsuya."

* * *

"Morning, Kuroko," Takeda greeted as he stepped into her office.

"Morning." He nodded as he sat in his usual armchair. Takeda shook her hair behind her shoulders. Kuroko noticed she had dyed it blonde. "Your hair looks nice."

"Thank you." She smiled. "So does yours. Did you get it cut recently?"

Kuroko ran a hand through his hair. "Yes." He had shaved it tightly at the back and a little at the sides so it didn't hang at the sides of his face.

"It suits you a lot better." Takeda nodded. That brought a small smile to Kuroko's face. He preferred it this way, and so did Kagami. His mother didn't. "So, it's been two weeks since we last saw each other. How did school start off?"

Kuroko hesitated. "Really good. We had basketball try-outs and we got some... really good new players. One's called Tachibana-san. He's almost as fast as Aomine."

Takeda's eyebrows arched. "Really? Do you think he could become like Kagami?"

Kuroko chewed his lip. "I don't know." He hoped not. "He might."

"He sounds like he'd be a good asset to the team if he did." Takeda crossed her legs. "How did he and the others react when they realised Takeda-sensei wasn't your coach?"

Kuroko pretended to chuckle. "Someone left."

Takeda's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah. Riko-san told them that if they didn't want her as their coach, they could leave, and one kid did." Kuroko nodded. "She didn't seem all that bothered though."

Takeda hummed. "Still. It sounds like a bad group this year – or at least worse than last year."

"They're not bad." Kuroko shrugged. "They're just... different. That just happened to be one bad person, and they're gone now."

"True," Takeda agreed. "Do you have any matches coming up?"

Kuroko hummed. "Yeah. Riko-san was skipping the whole way down to the gym because she got a practice match with Kaijo."

"That's Kise's school, right? Have you talked to him?"

"He hasn't stopped texting me since he found out." Kuroko took out his phone and flicked through it for Takeda to see. "See what I mean?"

"Wow, you weren't kidding," Takeda laughed. "He doesn't know when to stop."

"Nope. And Kagami-kun just eggs him on by indulging him," Kuroko sighed.

"Are they friends now?"

"Kagami-kun still pretends to hate all of them," Kuroko replied, "but yeah. He, Kise-kun, Aomine-kun, and I hung out all summer. Especially in the past few weeks."

Takeda nodded. "I remember you saying that. How does he indulge him?"

"Texts back, calls him to tell him to stop texting, fights with him over text," Kuroko listed. "Their new thing is playing basketball on messenger. Their high score is over a hundred, and they keep one-upping each other."

"That sounds like hell." Takeda chuckled. "How can you stand being in the middle of all of that?"

"It's not bad." A soft smile adorned Kuroko's face. "It's funny when you get used to it. Most of the time." He looked away. "I just hope they'll stay friends this year and won't let competition get to them."

"It does sound like something that would happen," Takeda agreed. "Especially with Kagami and Aomine."

"That's the problem." Kuroko put his phone away again. "But I'm still glad that they're my friends."

"I can see why. They appear to care a lot about you."

Kuroko hummed in agreement. "I think they do."

"Good. You're going to need them through this journey." Takeda sat forward in her seat, the way she always did when she was excited. "Especially now."

Kuroko blinked. "Why now? Did something happen?"

Takeda shifted in her seat. "I had a phone call with your parents before they came in to check some things with them – nothing we've been talking about, don't worry."

"Then... what?" Kuroko raised his eyebrows.

"I had to check with them about parental consent to the use of drugs as you're under eighteen."

"What for?"

Takeda smiled. "Your diagnosis from the second psychiatrist came through." Kuroko stared at her. "I checked with the hospital near you and everything. You're starting hormone blockers."

"When-?"

"Next week, if that's okay with you."

A slow smile spread across Kuroko's face. "You mean...?"

Takeda nodded. "You're starting hormone blockers, which is a path to testosterone, which is a step to chest surgery, which is a step to genital surgery. You're already so far into your journey. Do you want to take this step?"

Kuroko's smile only grew. "Gods yes."

* * *

"Kagami-kun," Kuroko sighed when he saw the other. Kagami lived closer to Kaijo than the bus stop, so he had decided to meet them there.

"You didn't sleep again?" Riko groaned.

"I couldn't," Kagami muttered, though he was grinning.

Tachibana watched with arched eyebrows. "How can you play if you don't sleep?" He sounded amused, and Kuroko wanted to- no.

_Fighting spirit is needed, yes, but it must be contained._

He had to remember that.

"Kagami-kun never sleeps before a good match," Kuroko muttered.

"Bakagami," Riko sighed. "You were meant to work on that over the summer."

"I tried," Kagami huffed, rubbing his eye. "It just didn't work."

"Why don't you take a sleeping tablet?" Fujimoto scoffed.

"That shit means you need an extra three or four hours sleep and gets you addicted." Kagami scowled. "Never used them, never will."

"And I don't recommend anyone on the team does either," Riko added, shooting him a look. Fujimoto shrugged. "Come on, let's go inside."

Just like last time, Kise met them at the gates. "Kagamicchi! Kurokocchi!" He ran up to them, throwing an arm around each neck.

Kuroko sighed. "Kise-kun, please let go."

"Bastard," Kagami grunted, pushing the blonde away from him.

Kise gave them a mischievous grin. "The coach had all of the nails in the rings replaced after last time and they're getting the full court ready."

Saruwatari tilted his head. Out of all of the new kids, he was the only one Kuroko didn't mind. "What happened last time?"

"Kagami broke one of the hoops of the half-courts," Koganei laughed. "He gave the other team a good scare."

"No, he cost the school payment for a new hoop," Hyuuga scoffed.

"Still." Koganei patted Kagami's back. "You should do that again."

Kagami laughed. "I'll try."

"And I'll try just as hard to beat you." Kise's smile slipped into his trademark smirk and Saruwatari blinked. Then the smile was back. "Come on; I'll bring you over to the changing rooms."

"I wasn't imagining that, right?" Saruwatari mumbled to Kuroko, pulling his curly brown hair up into a ponytail.

Kuroko shook his head. "Kise-kun has many talents. One of which is his acting ability. He's able to put up a friendly façade for as long as he wants, dip into his real personality, and jump right back to the façade."

"Sounds... mildly terrifying."

"That's one way to put it." Kuroko looked over at him. "Don't worry – I don't think you'll need to play him."

Saruwatari gave him a feeble grin. "Thanks. I'm Saruwatari Hernan."

Kuroko nodded. "You're from Europe?"

"Spain," Saruwatari confirmed. "My mom is, anyway. I came to live with my dad a few years ago."

Kuroko nodded. "I see. I'm Kuroko Tetsuya."

Saruwatari stuck out his hand. "Nice to formally meet you." He grinned.

Kuroko hesitated before taking and shaking his hand. "You too."

Kise turned to them as they reached the gym. "Your changing rooms are just down the hall. I'll see you guys inside." He gave a wave as he jogged into the gym.

Riko pushed into the changing room with the boys. A few of the first years muttered to themselves but didn't protest. "I have the first line worked out already. Kuroko. Kagami. Hyuuga. Kawahara. Furihata."

"What?" Tachibana turned to him, halfway through pulling on his bib. "I'm not in the first line?"

Fujimoto elbowed him as Riko raised an eyebrow. "Is that a problem?"

After a moment, Tachibana pulled down his bib. "No."

"Good." Riko smiled. "We'll start off on a basic one-on-one defence. Kagami, you'll mark Kise again."

Kagami nodded. "You sure he'll be on the first line?"

"He will be after last time." Riko's smile grew. "I trust you to work out who you're marking yourselves when you get out there. Hyuuga, if there's any trouble-"

"I'll handle it." Hyuuga nodded.

"Good." Riko adjusted the files in her arms. "I'll see you out there."

Tachibana shot Kuroko a glare as she left the room, but didn't say anything. Not until they reached the gym, and everyone was going to line up.

"I'm going to fucking play in this game," he muttered.

Kuroko's gaze flickered to him. "Good luck with that."

Kise watched as he followed his teammates into the starting line. "Everything okay?" He mumbled.

Kuroko nodded. "Yes. Of course." He moved past the blonde before he could be pressed further.

Kagami was scowling as he stood across from Kise. "They're pricks," he explained when Kise shot him a questioning look.

Kise looked over at Tachibana. "Gender stuff?" Kagami nodded and something flickered in the blonde's eyes, but he looked back to Kagami and grinned. "Let's just make this a good game."

He and Kagami battled for the ball first. Kagami got it, and of course he passed to Kuroko first. Kuroko passed to Hyuuga, who shot a three-pointer and landed it.

Kise was grinning.

The battle began and stopped, and began and stopped in quick, staccato bursts of energy. By the start of the second quarter, Kuroko was already out of breath, but his misdirection wasn't fading yet. He had worked at improving its range all summer.

He grabbed the ball and shot. The phantom shot scored two more points. Already, the score rested at fifty six to fifty four in their favour.

They needed to widen the gap more. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and turned to catch another pass.

Something caught the corner of his eye and he glanced to the side to see Tachibana waving at him.

He frowned. Did Riko want him? What did Tachibana need his attention for?

A weight slammed into the side of his head and he hit the floor.

Oh.

Well that explained it.

* * *

**Well, hope you guys are enjoying this story of pain and misery so far. This is going to be a fun ride! Sorry, I meant hell. It's going to be hell. I'd really appreciate a few reviews. See you next time, Murdering Majestors!**


	4. Chapter Three | Drop It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all. Sorry that these have been taking so long to churn out. All I can promise you is that I'm too invested in this plot now to give it up until I finish. I hope you enjoy the chapter. Be careful with this one if you're sensitive to any of the content warnings.

**CW:**  Transphobic and homophobic slurs (quite prevalent), generalised Japanese racist slur, familial transphobia, deadnaming, threats.

* * *

"Kuroko!" Kagami stood over him as Riko helped him over to the bench. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know," Riko muttered. They had been given a few minutes to compose themselves, although the Kaijō coach had been annoyed that this had happened again. Riko didn't blame him.

Saruwatari leaned down as Kuroko lay on the bench. "My mom's a nurse," he explained as he began checking a few things. Kagami didn't know what. It all looked like he was trying to tap Kuroko and mess with his vision to him.

"Well?" Kagami snapped after a minute.

Saruwatari didn't look up for another few seconds. "He hit his head when he fell, but he's not bleeding. He'll need to check in with a doctor afterwards, but he should be fine."

"Good," Kise sighed. He was the only one in blue over with the Seirin team. "Kuroko?"

Kuroko looked up at them, eyes squinted. "See? I'm fine."

"But you shouldn't play anymore," Saruwatari added. "At least not for a few minutes."

Riko looked up at the clock. The second quarter was ending. She gritted her teeth. "Tachibana, I'm putting you in," she decided.

Tachibana grinned and nodded. "Thanks, coach."

A whistle blew. Whatever time they had been given was up. Everyone moved back onto the court and the game started again.

Tachibana marked Kise. Kagami could see the blonde confused by how fast the orange-haired first year was moving, but Tachibana hadn't experienced the Generation of Miracles before.

Within five minutes, Kise had gotten over the speed and was using it to his advantage – stopping too quickly for Tachibana and shooting a mix of three and two pointers to throw him off.

"Idiot," Kagami snapped at Tachibana. "Mark him!"

"I'm trying!" Tachibana huffed. "He's fast!"

"Then make yourself go faster." Kagami glared at him and sprinted to catch up with Kise. He slapped the ball out of his hand and hurled it down the court.

Tachibana caught it and raced up to the Kaijō hoop, scoring a three-pointer with relative ease.

"Is he the one?" Kise muttered to Kagami. The latter nodded. Kise's eyes narrowed. "Sorry about this then."

He sprinted down the court, stole the ball and hurled it up the court just as Kagami had. Faster. Nakamura caught it and scored a three-pointer, negating the points Seirin had just made.

Tachibana just stared at the hoop. Kise smirked at him, and his eyes flashed. "I'd be careful who you hurt when you're playing basketball," he muttered, so low Tachibana barely even heard him. "I saw that wave."

Tachibana opened his mouth, but the ball was rushing towards him. He caught it, but Kise snatched it and ran off again.

Tachibana chased after him. He was able to pull level with the blond, but didn't manage to catch the ball. Kagami grabbed it and threw it back down to Hyuuga.

"Got it," the captain called as he scored a three-pointer. Seirin had lost their lead but they weren't letting the gap widen to more than two points.

"Why didn't you call me when you threw the ball to me?" Tachibana yelled, turning on Kagami.

"Not my job." Kagami shrugged. "Focus on the game instead of Kuroko."

Tachibana gritted his teeth. The game continued in a similar fashion until the final quarter. Tachibana barely caught balls thrown directly at him, and often lost them to Kise, who had taken to marking him like a wolf.

"Why won't you move to someone else?" Tachibana hissed.

"Because you waved." Kise narrowed his eyes. The game wasn't fun for him anymore – not with Kuroko gone and this little shit in his place.

When the ball was thrown up to Kagami, Tachibana chased after him. "Pass!"

Kagami glanced at him, and shot himself. A three-pointer, which he was usually terrible at, but he managed to pull it off this time. The bell for the end of the quarter rang and he walked over to the bench without waiting for the others.

"Take me off."

Riko looked up at him. "You do realise that you're the only reason we're not already ten points behind?"

"I don't care." Kagami jabbed a thumb towards Tachibana. "He hurt Kuroko."

"How?" Riko sighed. "He was on the bench. He didn't move."

"I don't know, but he did," Kagami snapped, "and I'm not playing with him again."

Riko opened her mouth to argue, but shut it again. "Fine," she mumbled. "Once." By that stage, the rest of the team was back. "Tachibana, you're marking Kise. Kagami, I'm pulling you out for this quarter."

"But-" Good. He had the common sense to pretend to argue.

"I don't want to hear it." Riko shot him a glare. "One quarter. That's it." She looked over at Saruwatari. "You take his place."

He tensed but nodded, and the bell rang again.

If possible, the start of the second half went worse than the previous quarter. Tachibana was fast on his feet, but uncontrolled, and Saruwatari marking Nakamura – the new Kaijō captain – wasn't a good plan for the team.

He was a good player – very good – but Nakamura was far better.

"Throw it to me!" Tachibana snapped at Hyuuga.

But his captain just looked at him and shot another three-pointer.

Every time Tachibana so much as touched the ball, Kise would snatch it away and score with as much energy as possible. No one tried all that hard to stop him.

When the third quarter ended, Riko pulled Tachibana out. Kuroko was sitting up by then.

"Kise's too aggravated by you," she insisted when he tried to protest. "We've got a seven point gap to close, and that's hard against Kaijō. Kuroko, you're back in."

Kuroko just nodded. Saruwatari cleared his throat. "Medically speaking, I don't know if that's a good idea. He might need-"

"It's fine, Saruwatari-kun," Kuroko mumbled. "I've had worse before."

"That doesn't mean you should." Tachibana's honey-smooth tone was back. "You could end up even more hurt."

"While your concern is appreciated, it's not necessary." Kuroko looked up at him. "I won't get hurt again."

Saruwatari let out a breath and looked over at Riko. "Should I come out too?"

She chewed the inside of her lip. "No. No, you stay in. Koganei, do you mind-?"

"No, go ahead." He grinned and plopped onto the bench, pulling on a hoodie. "I'll sit this quarter out."

Riko nodded. "Kagami, you mark Nakamura again. Saruwatari, you switch to Hayakawa." Everyone nodded and moved back out as the bell rang.

Kise grinned when he saw Kuroko, the tension in his shoulders easing. "You're back."

Kuroko smiled. "Did you think I wouldn't be?"

"Not at all." Kise's grin grew. One more quarter.

Seconds after the bell, Kuroko passed the ball to Kagami, and Kise laughed.

He tried to snatch the ball back, but Saruwatari threw it back to Kagami, who passed it to Kuroko.

The other caught it and aimed. One of the seventy percent; the ball went through the hoop. Good.

Kaijō scored next – one of Nakamura's. Kagami grabbed it next and threw it to Hyuuga, who made three points. Then Kuroko managed another two, and Saruwatari another two.

Even with Kise and Kagami battling for the ball, the score gap didn't widen all that much.

When the final bell rang, with both teams out of breath, a proud seventy-nine points hung under Seirin's name while seventy-seven hung under Kaijō's.

Kise grinned as he shook everyone's hands, but he managed to miss Tachibana. Kagami was last. "Well done."

The other man met his gaze. "If we had lost, it would have been worth it," he mumbled.

Kise hummed. "Maybe," he agreed, "but I think this will teach him an even bigger lesson."

* * *

"Evening, Kuroko-san." The doctor sat down in front of him and Riko. "Nurse Hasegawa tells me you had an accident in a match?"

Riko nodded. "He was hit on the left side of his head with a basketball. Towards the back."

"I see." The doctor nodded. "And you've been here before?"

Kuroko's face turned pink. "Last year," he admitted.

"After a match as well?" Kuroko nodded. "Well, from what I can see, I can tell you that you're fine. No concussions, although you're going to have a bruise in the morning." The doctor smiled. "But maybe stay away from matches for a day or two. Alright?"

Kuroko nodded. "I'll make sure he doesn't play for a few days," Riko assured. "Should he take any extra precautions?"

The doctor shook his head. "Walk home tonight with a friend maybe, in case he gets a little dizzy. Aside from that-" He grinned at Kuroko. "-you're good to go."

Kuroko smiled and bowed his head. "Thank you."

"It's not a problem." The doctor stood again and looked at Riko. "Just make sure he takes it easy."

"I will." She nodded. "Come on, Kuroko." They left the office, and walked out to the waiting room. Most of the team and Kise were waiting for them – Saruwatari was the only first year who had stayed.

"Well?" Kagami was standing – probably pacing back and forth and irritating the whole team the entire time.

"All clear." Riko nodded. "He just needs to take it easy for a few days."

"I can-" Kuroko began.

"No. No way." Riko shook her head. "You're taking two days off from practice. Understood?" After a moment, Kuroko nodded. "Good."

Kise stood up and stretched. "Great. Does anyone want to go for dinner?"

A few people grumbled and made some sort of excuse. "I'll go." Kagami grinned. Kuroko nodded and Saruwatari rubbed the back of his head.

Kise gave him a grin. "You can come too, if you want. We won't bite."

"Thanks." Saruwatari gave him a small smile. They split up, the four walking downtown towards a ramen restaurant Kise found on TripAdvisor, and the rest going home on the bus.

"I never actually asked," Kise admitted, "what pronouns do you use?"

"Me?" Saruwatari pointed to himself. "What do you mean?"

"Like he and him, she and her, or they and them," Kise elaborated.

"He and him," Kuroko answered for him, but Saruwatari still looked a little confused.

"Okay. Say you went to a shop," Kise tried, "and someone asked me where you went. Would I say  _he_  went to the shop,  _she_  went to the shop, or-"

"Oh, okay, I get you." Saruwatari nodded. "Yeah, he and him." He tried to smile. "I don't know when you could have asked before now considering we were in the middle of a match."

Kise snorted. "True."

Kagami hummed. "Speaking of the match." He looked over at Kuroko. "What happened? You don't get distracted during games."

"It wasn't anything big." Kuroko shook his head.

Saruwatari cleared his throat. "I thought I saw Tachibana waving at him," he admitted. Kuroko glared at him.

"Bastard." Kagami gritted his teeth. "I swear, next time I see him-"

"It was probably a mistake, Saruwatari-kun." Kuroko shook his head. "I didn't see him waving."

"You were looking over at the bench. And I'm pretty sure I saw him too." Kise folded his arms. "Kurokochii-"

"It was nothing," Kuroko snapped. "I just got a bit lost."

"You don't get lost during games!" Kagami insisted.

"Well I did this time! So just drop it." Kuroko stuffed his hands into his pockets.

Saruwatari shuffled his feet. "Sorry I didn't say something sooner."

"There was nothing to say." Kuroko gritted his teeth.

"Yes, there was." Kise shook his head. "But that wasn't your fault, Saruwatari."

Saruwatari shrugged. "Maybe."

"I'm going to kill him when I see him." Kagami punched the palm of his hand. Whenever Kuroko saw him do that, it reminded him of the far-too Americanised action films.

"No, you're not."

"Exactly." Kise's eyes narrowed. " _I_  am."

"Neither of you are killing anyone." Kuroko glared at them. His lip was beginning to twitch a little.

"What about me?" Saruwatari offered a small smile.

"No!" Kuroko hid a laugh. "Seriously. No killing."

"Fine, fine." Kise waved his hand. "Maiming."

"Just drop it." Kuroko's half-smile was gone. None of them brought it up again.

Kagami was the first to speak, after clearing his throat. "Let's just go and get ramen."

* * *

When Kuroko pushed open the door, he noticed three things in a very simple order. The purple and orange flowery suitcase standing in the hallway, the smell of chicken cooking, and the sound of loud laughter. His grandmother had come to visit.

He sent Kagami a quick, final text before pocketing his phone. You might need to save me later.

He had to take several long, deep breaths before he managed to walk into the room. His mother was smiling when she looked up. "Kuro, you're back. How was the match?"

"Good." Kuroko nodded. Kuro was a bit of a middle ground. "We won by two points."

"Well done." His father nodded. "How much did you play?"

"Not too much. I had to come out for half the game – I fell."

"Oh, that's not good." His grandmother's voice fell on him like a heavy blanket. "How did you fall?"

Kuroko looked over at her. Greying hair hung cropped around her ears, mottled skin bunching around her chin and eyes. Golden glasses perched on her nose, magnifying her eyes and giving her a look of childlike innocence. "Someone threw the ball to me and I didn't see it, so it hit me."

"Gracious." She covered her mouth. "I never knew basketball was so rough."

"It was a once-off." Kuroko leaned down and kissed his mother's forehead.

She smiled at him – her cheeks were red, and eyes bright. "Did you have fun?" He nodded. "That's good to know."

Kuroko returned the smile. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad today.

"Are the other girls on your team nice?" His grandmother asked.

Or not. Kuroko cleared his throat. "I play on the boys' team."

He could see her stiffen. His father clapped him on the shoulder. "You've been doing well so far – winning a game a week into the start of the year!"

His mother nodded in agreement as she forced herself to her feet. "I'm going to go sort out dinner. Do you want some, Kuro?"

"I ate before I came home," Kuroko replied. She nodded and shuffled into the kitchen.

His father gave him a smile. "Come help us out, eh?"

"Sure." Kuroko nodded.

He followed his father out to the kitchen. While his parents began cutting vegetables, he grabbed knives and forks and brought them back to the sitting room – it was the biggest table they had.

Before he could retreat again to get glasses, his grandmother caught his arm. "Emi, you and I need to have a talk."

He already knew where this was going. "What about?"

"Your mother is our top priority at the moment," she stated. Her hand was hot on his wrist. "She has cancer, Emi. Now all of this can wait for a few years. You're going to look back on this in college and thank the gods that you didn't do anything. Your mother doesn't need that stress in her life."

Kuroko swallowed. Get out. Get out now. "I'm not-"

"You're putting far too much pressure on her," his grandmother continued. "Especially considering how much treatment she has to deal with. She's going to end up getting worse with all of this to worry about."

Kuroko's heart thudded in his ribcage. "She's getting better."

"She's not." His grandmother shook her head. "She's not going to get better, Emi. And all of this is going to make things worse. I've been reading up on this. If she gets too stressed, she's going to end up having a heart attack or a stroke."

Kuroko stared at her. Her eyes held his like a vice, steely and cold. "How dare you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"How dare you!" He yelled, snapping his wrist away from her. "How dare you tell me I'm killing my mother!"

"I never said you were." She stood up.

"You just did!"

"Emi, calm down."

Kuroko took a breath. "Please," he hissed, "just leave me alone."

She stared at him, and he saw her eyes water. "Leave you alone?" She shook her head. "After everything I've done for you; I hope you never want for anything in your life, Emi."

"My name is Tetsuya." He glared at her.

"We're not having this discussion."

"You've already started this discussion!" He stepped away from her when she tried to grab his arm. "No, don't touch me!"

"What's going on in here?" His mother was back, and then his grandmother was in tears.

"She attacked me! She's like an anti-Christ!"

"I never attacked you!" Kuroko pointed at her. "I never-"

"Stop!" His mother snapped, rushing over to his grandmother. "Emi, stop!"

Kuroko stared at her for a moment. "I'm allowed to be angry with her!"

"Emi-"

"You see? Miyuki she attacked me-"

"Mom, please-"

Kuroko whipped around and darted out of the house. He didn't even pull on his shoes.

It was raining, and water soaked through his socks, already black with dirt as he ran through the streets. Tears were blurring his vision, and twice he nearly ran in front of a car.

When he reached the apartment, he rang the bell fifteen consecutive times before the intercom crackled. "Hello?"

"Kagami-kun." His voice broke.

"Shit, Kuroko, I'm buzzing you in now."

The door swung open and Kuroko shuffled inside. His socks left puddles on the floor as he waited for the elevator. He could hear his phone vibrating and he checked it.

A few texts from Kagami asking why he would need to be saved, and three missed calls from his father.

He turned his phone off as he stepped inside. Kagami was waiting for him on the seventh floor.

The second he saw him, Kuroko fell against his chest. "I hate her," he hissed, squeezing his eyes shut. "I hate her."

Kagami's arms wound around him. He didn't ask until he had guided Kuroko back to his apartment and sat him down on the couch. "What happened?"

Kuroko opened his mouth and a sob escaped. "She-she told me I-" He sniffed. "She said I'm k-killing my mother."

Kagami shook his head and held Kuroko closer. "Fucking hell." He gently rocked him back and forth. "Can you breathe?" Kuroko nodded. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shook his head. "Okay." Kagami let out a breath. "That's okay." He looked down at Kuroko. "Do you want some fresh clothes?"

Kuroko sniffed and nodded. "Yes, please."

Kagami reluctantly released him. "Come on." Kuroko followed him down the hall to his room. "I don't think I have any pants in your size, but these sweatpants have a string so they shouldn't fall if you tie them, and this t-shirt is too small for me." Kagami passed him the items. "Where are your shoes?"

"At home."

"You walked all the way here – in the rain – with no shoes?"

"Ran," Kuroko muttered.

"Shit, take off your binder."

"I'm fine."

"Tetsuya, it's like a thirty minute run!"

"I'm fine." He wasn't; his chest ached, and despite what he had told Kagami, his breath was ragged. "Please." But he needed it on.

Kagami hesitated. "You're taking it off in an hour, okay?"

Kuroko reluctantly nodded. "Okay."

Kagami left the room to let him change in privacy, but had to come in again when he heard the crying start.

"Tetsuya…" He pulled Kuroko into his arms and began rocking him back and forth again. "It's not your fault. You're not hurting her – your gran's just an ignorant bitch."

"B-B-But-" Kuroko buried his head in Kagami's shirt. "What if she's right?"

Kagami shook his head. "She's not. She's not. Okay? She doesn't know what she's talking about."

"But she read-"

"The doctors haven't said anything about it, right? Stress isn't going to kill her, and if her son is what's stressing her out most, her entire life must have disappeared since I last saw her." Kagami lifted Kuroko's head. "You're not killing her."

Tears spilled down Kuroko's cheeks. "But what if I am?"

Kagami couldn't find any more words to comfort him, so instead, he just held him and let him cry.

* * *

"Have you gone home yet?" Kise asked.

Kuroko shook his head. "Not yet." His voice was hoarse. "My parents know I'm staying with Kagami-kun. I'm not going home until she's gone."

Aomine shook his head. "Can I kill her?" He requested. Kuroko shot him a sharp look. "Relax, I'm kidding." He looked away. "Mostly."

"No killing my grandmother." Kuroko scratched the inside of his thumb. It was already sore, but he couldn't stop. When he did, he began to panic. The repetition was soothing. "Can we not mention it to anyone else?"

"Sure." Saruwatari nodded.

Kise raised an eyebrow. "Even Akashicchi and Murasakibaracchi?"

"Especially them." Kuroko looked up at him. "And not Momoi-san either."

Aomine sighed. "She's going to literally kill us if she finds out."

"She won't." Kuroko looked down at the pavement again. "And if she does, I'll know I made a mistake in telling you."

"Why did you tell me?" Saruwatari piped up. "Like, not that I didn't want to know; it's just that you barely know me."

Kuroko shrugged. "We're friends now, right?"

After a moment, Saruwatari nodded. "Right."

Aomine grinned and hooked an arm around his neck. "But no getting sentimental right now. Funfair time. C'mon – we're meant to be distracting Tetsu."

Kagami snorted. "Yeah. We haven't exactly been doing a good job."

Kuroko shrugged. "I don't mind." Telling them what had happened had helped with the processing of it. He dug his nails into his thumb.

He wasn't a murderer. He wasn't a murderer.

His mother was doing well. Doing well. Doing well. The chemo was working. He wasn't making her worse.

He wasn't a murderer.

"Kurokocchi!" Kise pulled him back. "We're being left behind."

"Sorry." Kuroko winced and rubbed his side. He hadn't taken his binder off the previous night and had fallen asleep in it. He had taken it off for a few hours that morning, but eighteen hours in a binder with only a few hours of a break wasn't exactly safe.

He didn't mention it to Kagami.

Saruwatari noticed the wince and fell back into step with him. "If you want to take it off, you can wear my hoodie?" He offered. "It'll be baggy on you."

Kuroko gave him a small smile. "It's okay, Saruwatari-kun. Thanks for the offer though."

"Are you sure?" Saruwatari raised an eyebrow. "You don't look okay."

"I'm fine." Kuroko watched the other three join a line. "Looks like we're doing a basketball arcade game first."

"What a surprise," Saruwatari chuckled.

The closer they got though, the clearer it became that they hadn't been attracted to the game.

"What did you say about Kuroko?"

"Oh no." Kuroko shrank back.

Saruwatari glanced back at him. "You stay here," he mumbled. "I'll check what's going on."

"Wait-"

But he was already moving closer to the group. Kuroko took a breath before following him.

Tachibana stood almost nose-to-nose with Kagami. "All I said was that he's scrawny."

"No, you didn't – I heard you!"

"Then what did I say?" Tachibana folded his arms.

"The T word!"

One of the others – Kuroko didn't recognise them from Seirin – raised an eyebrow. "Tetanus?"

Tachibana snorted. "Yeah. That's right. I definitely called him a tetanus shot."

"Riko said you'd be kicked off the team if you kept doing this," Saruwatari reminded him.

"Doing what?" Tachibana shrugged. "I was just having a polite conversation with my colleagues and then Kagami came up and started screaming."

"Because you called Tetsu a tranny." Aomine narrowed his eyes. Kuroko winced.

"Do you have any proof?" Kagami hesitated. Tachibana smirked. "Exactly. So leave us alone."

"I don't know if Riko will ask us for proof if we go to her." Saruwatari glared at Tachibana.

Fujimoto sneered at him. "What would you know, gaijin?"

Aomine shoved Tachibana back. "Maybe you should go find your own stomping ground."

"We already did. You're the ones who came up to us." Tachibana glared at him. His eyes flickered to Kuroko, and the basketball court a few metres away, and then lit up. "How about this?" His voice was honey-smooth again, and Kuroko hated it. "We play a game. If we win, you leave."

"And if we win, you apologise to Kuroko and piss off," Kagami added.

"Five on five?" Tachibana offered.

"Give yourselves a chance. We'll take all seven of you on," Aomine snorted.

"Should we be worried?" Saruwatari mumbled.

Kuroko shook his head. "No. I don't think so."

Tachibana nodded, and all twelve of them made their way to the court. They grabbed a basketball and started.

Within an instant, Kise had the ball and threw it to Saruwatari, who managed to get around everyone and throw it to Aomine.

Tachibana tried to block him, but Aomine ran past him and threw the ball over the rim. It went straight through the hoop without going out of bounds.

Kuroko stole it from Tachibana and passed it back to Kagami, but somehow Tachibana's elbow found his rib. He winced and doubled over, but was back in the game before anyone even noticed.

The next time he got the ball, it was one of Tachibana's friends who got him – the arm. Then the leg. Each time, they stole the ball from him, but before they could score, Kise would rush past them in a flash of gold and take their points from them.

By the time the five of them had scored a few points each, Tachibana was the only one on his team who still looked ready to play. They had only scored two points.

"Go on." Aomine threw him the ball. "Try it."

Tachibana didn't wait. The second he caught it, he darted down the field. His speed caught Aomine by surprise for a second, but then Saruwatari was blocking him and Kagami had stolen the ball back.

Aomine threw the ball and landed a three-pointer without much effort. "Get out of here," he snarled as the ball bounced away. "We've won."

Tachibana looked around, but his team were struggling to pick themselves up. "Go fuck yourselves," he snapped. "Faggots."

Kuroko started. Tachibana was usually more reserved than that – possibly because Riko was there, and he seemed to like basketball more than he disliked Kuroko.

Aomine took a step towards him but Saruwatari and Kise held him back.

Kuroko caught Kagami's hand before he could attempt to hit Tachibana. "He's not worth it."

"Yes he is." Kagami glared after him until the orange mess of hair was out of sight.

Kise and Saruwatari reluctantly released Aomine, who walked over to the grass and dropped onto it. Slowly, everyone followed his example until they were all lying back and looking up at the clouds.

"Hey, Saruwataricchi," Kise called, "you're pretty good. How long have you been playing?"

Saruwatari hesitated. The honorific had thrown him off. "Uh…" He shook his head. "I don't know. My mother used to play, so she's been playing with me since I was little."

Kise nodded. "You're really good."

Aomine scoffed. "He's  _alright_."

"He scored more points than you." Kagami smirked.

Aomine glared at him. "And you."

"No way."

"You scored less than me, so if he scored more than me, he scored more than you." Aomine looked far too smug with his revelation.

"Can we not?" Kuroko asked. He hadn't smiled once during the game.

Saruwatari saw his chest hitching up with each breath. When he focused, he could hear the slight catch on Kuroko's exhales.

Aomine and Kagami exchanged a look. "Yeah. Okay."

They lay back and stared up at the clouds. "That one looks like Number Two," Kagami finally mumbled.

Aomine shook his head. "You're insane. It's obviously a frog."

"Guys," Kise whined, "it's a pig."

"What? No, look at it from this angle-"

* * *

The red-haired boy was leaning against the wall, eyes fixed on Tachibana. He shifted a little and looked away. The boy hadn't moved since Tachibana arrived.

"Hey."

The voice made him jump, and he turned to see a dark-haired boy standing behind him. His hair was pulled back into short dreadlocks, and four silver piercings shot through his ears.

"Haizaki?" Tachibana raised an eyebrow.

The boy nodded. "That's me." He glanced past Tachibana. "Has he been here the whole time?"

Tachibana turned. He could just see the redhead turning a corner. "Yeah. Why?"

After a moment, Haizaki shook his head. "Probably nothing." He met Tachibana's gaze again. "What was it that you wanted to know?"

* * *

"That was amazing." Saruwatari's cheeks were red and his eyes bright.

Kagami grinned. "Told you playing against the third years was fun."

"No kidding!" Saruwatari laughed. "I want to do that again."

"You'll get your chance tomorrow." Kagami clapped his shoulder as they walked into the changing room. They stopped at the door, and behind them, Kuroko nearly crashed into Kagami. "Kuroko," Kagami muttered, "go outside. I'll meet you there."

Kuroko frowned. "Kagami-kun, move over."

Kagami looked back at him. "Go. I'll handle it."

"Handle what?" Kuroko tried to look in past him, but Kagami blocked him.

"Saruwatari, get him out."

Saruwatari nodded and pulled Kuroko towards the door, despite the latter's complaints.

Kagami waited until they were gone before walking in. None of the first years said anything. The second and third years were gathered around Kuroko's locker with their backs to it.

"We didn't want him to see it," Hyuuga mumbled, moving out of the way as Kagami neared.

KUROKO EMI. TRANNY. BURN IN HELL.

They stained the blue metal in black paint. Koganei's shirt was stained black. "I tried to wipe it off," he mumbled.

"Let's get this cleaned up," Hyuuga sighed. "Before Kuroko sees."

Kagami clenched his fists and rounded on the first years. "Who did it?" He roared.

"Kagami, now isn't the time."

"When is the time?" He glared at Hyuuga. "This is going to keep going on if we don't do something!"

"Riko did do something."

"Well it clearly wasn't enough." Kagami turned to the first years again. "Well?"

Tachibana looked up, but walked out of the room without saying anything. Kagami followed him out. Like hell was he going to let him get anywhere near Kuroko if he wasn't there.

Thankfully, he saw Kuroko and Saruwatari by the outdoors court while Tachibana left through the front gates. His eyes narrowed when he saw the red-haired boy with them.

Crimson eyes burned into him as he approached. "It's good to see you again, Taiga."

"Akashi." He nodded. "Why are you here?"

"I decided to pay you and Tetsuya a visit." He looked back at Kuroko and Saruwatari. "And then I met him and Hernan out here. Something happened, I take it?"

"Nothing we can't handle." Kagami folded his arms.

"Are you sure?" One of Akashi's eyes flashed for a moment – or maybe he imagined it. "I saw Shōgo yesterday."

Kuroko swallowed. "I thought Haizaki moved away."

"He did." Akashi looked back at him. "He was meeting your new teammate. Tachibana Akeno."

Kagami scowled. "What for?"

"I don't know," Akashi admitted, "but I thought I should mention it to you." He met Kuroko's gaze. "You know what Shōgo is capable of. If possible, avoid them both."

"I don't know if that's possible." Kuroko chewed his thumbnail. "He's part of the team, and he's a good player. As good as we all were when we started finding what we were good at. Well, not me. You guys. If he gets better-"

"He'll be in games and training more and Kuroko won't be able to avoid him," Saruwatari finished.

"Well I guess you could avoid him if you're dead." Akashi's smile was cold, and Kuroko took a step back. "You know what Shōgo is capable of," he repeated. "You know what he did. If Tachibana is going to him-"

"I know," Kuroko muttered. "But I'm staying away from the incinerator, and-"

"And you think that's the only dangerous thing in the school?" Akashi raised an eyebrow. Kuroko kicked the ground. Akashi just sighed. "Whatever you want, Tetsuya. Just make sure you stay safe in all of this." He looked up at Kagami. "It was good seeing you again, Taiga. Give my regards to Ryōta and Daiki." He glanced at Saruwatari. "And it was good to meet you, Hernan." His eyes flashed for a moment – Kagami knew he didn't miss it this time. "I'll be keeping my eyes on you." He turned away. "I expect I'll be seeing you all again soon. Stay safe, Tetsuya."

* * *

**Reviews:**

**Nebelsue:** Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying it.

 **Mia:** Sorry this took so long, but yeah, Tachibana and Akashi aren't very similar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Please leave a review if you enjoyed. See you next time, Murdering Majestors.


	5. Chapter Four | Man Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry this took so long. I promise I'm still keeping this up but I had a lot of shit going on this year. But here you go! I won't be addressing what happened with Kuroko's gran as much after this because it's honestly really hard for me and I honestly nearly scrapped this because I cried during it. But here you go - it's a heavyish chapter so just be careful.

**Reviews:**

**Pino:** AAAAH I'm sorry this took so long!

 **lojo:** I'm so happy you're invested and that you like them holy shit!! I'm sorry this took so long!

 **wingedwolf76:** It took like a year but here you go!

 **PocketsizedDinosaur:** Oh big fucking mood

* * *

 

 **CW:**  Accidental-ish deadnaming, familial transphobia, binding unsafely, misgendering, dysphoria

* * *

_"So how've you been doing? Are you okay staying with Kagami?"_

"Yeah, I'm fine." Kuroko leaned against the hallway wall, looking up at the patterns on the ceiling. "I like staying with him so I don't mind."

_"You're sure? Have you got everything that you need?"_

He managed a small smile. "Yeah, I've got everything. Thanks."

_"Your grandmother is leaving the day after tomorrow. Will you be coming home then?"_

Kuroko's shoulders relaxed. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll come home once she's gone."

 _"Alright."_  His father paused and tension swelled in Kuroko's throat.  _"She's been upset since you left."_

"Oh." He tried to sound as interested as he had been in the conversation up until now. He tried to sound like he cared. He tried to sound like his heart wasn't doing somersaults down in his stomach.

 _"Look,"_  he sighed after a long pause,  _"I know that this is tough on you. But it's not easy on her. You know that."_

"I know." A lump swelled up in Kuroko's throat. It sure seemed easy that night. She had found it so easy to blame him for everything going wrong in their lives. "But it being hard on her doesn't make it any easier on me."

 _"I know..."_  His father sighed again. Kuroko ran his thumb over the volume buttons on his phone, pressing one or the other every now and again in a slow, repetitive pattern.  _"Look... She'll be leaving on Sunday and you won't need to see her again for another few months. Why don't you just come to brunch with us to send her off? You can bring Kagami if you want."_

No. Don't do it. It would only end badly - not just for him. For every single one of them. His parents, his gran, Kagami. He closed his eyes. "Can we talk about something else for a little bit?" He whispered. His breath caught in his throat.

 _"Yeah. Sure,"_  he agreed.  _"How did that test go the other day?"_

"I think I did okay in it," Kuroko hummed. His shoulders began to relax a little again as the conversation wore on. The brunch escaped his mind as he caught his father up on the practice matches against the third and first years, and his classes. But of course, that had to end at some stage. "Can I talk to mom?"

His father hesitated.  _"She's sleeping at the moment,"_ he admitted after a second.  _"I don't really want to wake her. She hasn't been sleeping well the last few nights."_  Kuroko's stomach dropped. Probably ever since he left. Maybe he was making her worse. No, her entire life didn't revolve around him.  _"But if you come out to brunch with us on Sunday, you can talk to her then."_

Right. Brunch. Kuroko cleared his throat. "Dad, I-"

 _"I know it'll be tough, but please."_  There was a pause.  _"Don't let it end like this, Tetsuya."_

Kuroko closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath. "Alright," he murmured. "Where is it?"

_"We'll be at the restaurant by the park at about twelve."_

"Okay." He nodded, to himself. "I'll meet you there."

 _"Good girl."_ Kuroko winced and his father paused before correcting himself. _"Good lad. I'll see you there, okay?"_

"Okay," he mumbled. "Bye."

_"Goodbye. I love you."_

"You too." He let the phone drop from his ear and hit the end call button with his thumb. He took a few seconds to ground himself - it wasn't his fault, he didn't mean to call him a girl - before trudging back to the couch.

Kagami was still engrossed in his video game and didn't even notice that Kuroko was there until he sat beside him on the couch. "You said you'd stop doing that," he muttered, eyes flickering to the blue-haired boy.

Kuroko shrugged. "You just need to pay more attention. I can't work on my lack of presence and make sure you know where I am in the room." But something was off. Kagami usually didn't notice him until he spoke - he never felt him sit.

"How's your dad?" Kagami looked back at the television screen in time to save his character from death by falling into a barrel of water.

Kuroko watched his character, fiddling with his thumbs. "He's okay." He paused as Kagami killed one of the guards. "He wants me to go for a meal with them before my grandmother leaves."

Kagami's head snapped towards him and he nearly dropped the Xbox controller. "He what?" On screen, his character was stabbed by a guard.

Kuroko pointed. "You died."

"Forget the game." Kagami set the controller aside and turned to properly face him. "You're not actually going to do it, are you?"

Kuroko looked down at the couch, picking at the fabric. "I am." If only there was a loose thread or something that he could pull for something to do. "It'll make them happy. And he said you could come too - if you want."

"This isn't something that you need to do for them." Kagami shook his head. "Kuroko, she's an absolute fucking bitch."

"Don't say that." His teeth clenched. Kagami was right, of course, but that didn't make it easy to hear. Your grandmother's a bitch. He wouldn't have said that if he were in Kagami's place. Then again, there were a lot of things that he wouldn't have done if he were in Kagami's place.

"It's true." Kagami reached out and placed a hand over Kuroko's, surprisingly gentle. "Don't push yourself to make up with her after what she said to you just because it'll make them happy."

Kuroko's gaze flickered to Kagami's hand. "I want to," he muttered, "go to brunch and make sure that the same thing doesn't happen next time she comes down."

Kagami huffed and withdrew his hand. "Alright. If that's what you want." He stretched his arms above his head and Kuroko wrinkled his nose. "So is this brunch place fancy?"

"You should wear a nice t-shirt at least," Kuroko confirmed. He leaned over and poked Kagami's arm. "And shower. You stink."

"I do not!" Kagami dropped his arms and scowled at Kuroko. "We only had an hour of practice today."

Kuroko nodded in agreement. "I know. But apparently Assassin's Creed is a very strenuous game. Go shower."

Kagami rolled his eyes but pushed himself up off the couch. "This is my apartment," he called over his shoulder.

Kuroko forced a small grin for Kagami's benefit. "If you really didn't want to have one, you wouldn't be going to the bathroom." Kagami flipped him off over his shoulder. Once the bathroom door was closed, Kuroko's grin dropped and he curled up on the couch.

* * *

Kuroko was still avoiding the boys' changing rooms. Since Monday, he had been using the wheelchair access bathroom to change into his basketball clothes. It wasn't bad. It was large - and it had its own shower too. He never used it though; the mold growing all over the drain worried him. And he could lock the door and no one could wait for him just outside the stall, still out of view of the security cameras in the hall, because there was no stall. Just the one room with the toilet, sink, and shower.

No one ever waited for him outside the door except for Kagami - he suspected the latter had scared them off. The cleaners had managed to sort out his locker, but he didn't want to risk going in. Not yet. He tugged his shirt down over his binder. He wasn't meant to wear it during practice, but he couldn't handle the sports bra. Not today.

He glanced in the mirror. Okay. That looked okay. He turned sideways. His chest wasn't flat. He frowned and reached down. He tried to ignore the fact that he actually had breasts as he adjusted them in his binder, pulling them up and out towards his armpits. Once he was done, he pulled out his shirt, away from his chest, and released it. He waited until it settled to check again. His chest looked exactly the same.

He squared his shoulders as he turned to face the mirror again. From the front, he looked fine. He would be fine. Realistically, they were going to be shitty to him anyway, so why was he doing this? Why did wearing a binder instead of a sports bra matter so much when it wouldn't change anyone's mind and would, in fact, badly affect him.

He closed his eyes and turned away, pulling open the door. Kagami looked up at him and gave him a grin. "Ready to go?"

Kuroko nodded silently and followed him. He didn't notice. Did that mean the sports bra was sufficient for binding, or that his chest looked too big in the binder? Was his binder too loose? No, he only got it over the winter break. It was fine. It was fine. Kagami was probably just distracted by the thought of practice. He always got like that.

He took a deep breath as they pushed their way through the doors to the gym. It was fine. Riko glanced up as they walked in and waved them over. One of the first years was with her. His eyes looked red, and he was favouring his left leg.

They both started to walk over, but Riko shook her head and pointed at Kuroko. Only him. "You go start warming up," he mumbled to Kagami. "I'll be over in a minute."

Kagami hesitated, but Kuroko was already walking over to their coach. "Is something wrong?"

"In a way." Riko's eyes were narrow and cold. She looked at the first year and Kuroko followed her gaze. He recognised him now. "Fujimoto."

Fujimoto's eyes flickered to Kuroko and away again. "I was the one who trashed your locker," he mumbled. He had a bruise forming around his left eye. It was already purple.

Kuroko blinked slowly. Then again. "Excuse me?"

"I wrote that shit on your locker," he huffed, louder this time. "I was held back by a teacher that day, and everyone was already in practice, so I had a chance and I took it. I found your name on your Facebook."

"That's not his name," Riko snapped. Kuroko couldn't breathe.

Fujimoto glanced at her, and away again. "Yeah, well, that's where I found it."

"I changed it on Facebook four years ago," Kuroko managed to force out. The day before going to middle school. The day before joining the team. He had spent more time online under Tetsuya than his deadname.

"Yeah. It was tough to find." Fujimoto shrugged, shoulders slumping. "But what do you expect from me?"

Kuroko swallowed. "What did Tachibana do?" Riko and Fujimoto stared at him. "What did he do to make you do this?"

Fujimoto scoffed. "I don't know what you're talking about. I did it." He met Kuroko's gaze. "And I would again." Kuroko didn't doubt that he would do it, given the chance, but he didn't.

Riko grabbed his arm. "Get out of my gym," she hissed. "Go to the sports coordinator and tell him you quit. I'll be checking after practice, and if you haven't done it by then, I'll tell him what you did."

Once she released him, he stumbled towards the doors. Kuroko turned to her. "He didn't do it. You know he didn't."

Riko folded her arms, watching the first year leave. "He admitted to it."

"He didn't do it," Kuroko insisted.

Riko sighed and turned to him. She looked tired, and a pang of guilt hit him. All this stress was his fault. All his. "Why are you standing up for him? He was an asshole to you. I thought you'd be glad to see him go."

Kuroko turned and glanced around. Tachibana was stretching in the far corner, and their eyes locked. Kuroko looked down again. "Not when the person who did it is still here."

"I know you think it was him." Riko dropped her arms. "And I trust your judgement. I do. But we don't have any evidence against Tachibana, and Fujimoto confessed. I didn't have a choice but to let him go, and I'm not that sad to see the back of him. He was a sub-par player who wouldn't put in the effort, and he was all kinds of problematic. We'll get there with the others. Okay?"

"Yeah." Kuroko stared at the floorboards, at one specific black mark, probably from Kagami turning too quickly. "Maybe."

Riko patted his shoulder. "Go warm up. I'm going to tell Hyuuga what happened."

Kuroko stood perfectly still for a moment, even after she left, still focusing on the skid mark. Finally, he raised his head and searched out Kagami. He jogged over to him, standing near the door, stretching. He stood up out of a calf stretch when he saw Kuroko nearing him. "What happened?" His brows were furrowed.

Kuroko forced himself to look at him. "Fujimoto was kicked off the team. He's the one who did that to my locker."

"You're kidding." Kagami's eyes flickered to the door. "I thought he just pissed Riko off."

"He did." Kuroko shook his head and began stretching his arms. "But he's off now."

"Do you think it was him?" Kagami's eyes landed on him.

Kuroko gave a small shrug. "I don't think it matters."

* * *

 

Kagami's leg was jogging under the table, up, down, up, down, up down up down updownupdownupdown. Kuroko frowned. "Please stop."

"Stop what?" He didn't even seem to notice what he was doing.

Kuroko reached out his leg and tapped the top of Kagami's heel. "It's bothering me."

"Sorry." The jogging began to slow. "How long left?"

"A few minutes."

"Kagami," the teacher called from the top of the room. Kagami jumped. "I'm aware that you're eager to leave, but can you please pay attention for the last few minutes? I'm sure it wouldn't hurt you that much."

Kagami's face burned as a few people around him giggled. "Sorry."

The teacher shook her head and turned back to the board, finishing writing their homework. Kuroko scribbled it into his journal. Okay, so he finished maths at lunch, and Kagami helped him a little with English. That just left him with history, Japanese, and geography. He let out a slow breath. That should take two hours. It was doable.

He glanced over the other subjects. Wait no, he had a business project to finish too. Okay, he had until Tuesday for that so- the bell rang and Kagami shoved his books into his bag. Kuroko sighed and closed his journal. He would figure it out later.

"You ready?" Kagami leaned on his desk.

Kuroko packed his books into his bag, neater than Kagami had. He liked to have all of his books together in sections. "Yes." He zipped up his bag. "Getting there sooner doesn't mean we get to play sooner."

"It's still better than being in class." Kagami grinned and speed-walked to the door. Kuroko had to jog to keep up with him as they made their way towards the gym. "Who do you think we'll be up against this year?"

Kuroko chewed his cheek. "Probably similar schools to last year. We won't be against any of the others this early anyway."

Kagami grinned, clenching his fist. "I hope we're against Midorima first. I want to knock that smug little smirk right off his face."

"You can't. You'd be taken off the court," Kuroko pointed out. He hesitated as they reached the changing room hall and he picked up his gearbag. "Back in a minute."

Kagami didn't fight him on it. This period of complacency wouldn't last long, but Kuroko savoured it. It was nice not to be rushing to change in a shower stall every other day. He took a slow breath and coughed as he pulled off his binder. He had gone home- no, back to Kagami's the last day with his chest aching. He hadn't been able to breathe properly all night. He wasn't risking that again.

He winced as he pulled the sports bra over his head. He didn't remember it being that hard to exercise in. Maybe because he wasn't used to it anymore? So theoretically, he could work himself up to wearing it during practice. But that could mess up his chances of getting top surgery. He wore two baggy t-shirts this time - one tank top and one regular top to offset the slight bump.

Kagami was waiting for him outside again. "You okay?" Kuroko rubbed the bottom of his chest and nodded. It still hurt. Kagami narrowed his eyes. "Maybe you should leave your binder off tonight. You've been wearing it a lot."

"I'll think about it." They both knew it wasn't going to happen, but Kagami didn't push it any further. When they pushed through the door into the gym, everyone was already stretching in a relatively tight circle. No one was talking, but they were all watching the door expectantly.

Kuroko and Kagami joined them at the edges. By the time Riko arrived with her clipboard in hand, even the end of the first years were warmed up. She smiled at them. "The preliminaries are here." Instantly, she was surrounded. "Relax. We're up against Jitsuzen High first, and that won't be much of a challenge. We beat them in the second round last year."

The defeat still hovered over their heads, unspoken. They won the Winter Cup; they had to win the Interhigh. Tachibana was frowning. "Jitsuzen High?" Riko nodded. "One of my old teammates went there this year. He was really good - they might be harder to beat this year."

"They weren't much trouble last year." Kagami waved him off. "One good player isn't going to change that."

Tachibana frowned at him, but quickly replaced the distasteful expression with one of neutrality. "I just think that we shouldn't underestimate our opponents."

"We won't." Riko nodded at him. "But equally, we shouldn't overestimate them. We need to keep our energy and new tactics for the harder matches." She blew her whistle, and Saruwatari winced, a little too close to her for auditory comfort. "Come on. It's time to start getting serious with practice."

By the time practice ended, Kuroko's muscles were aching. He leaned against the wall, swallowing half a bottle of water, as Kagami stretched. "Want to go for a burger?"

Kuroko glanced around. Most people had left. Tachibana was jogging around the gym - an obvious break, but he seemed intent on practicing some more. Saruwatari was hanging back as well, a little further away, hesitant to get too close. Kuroko gave him a small nod. "I think we should practice a little more. If Tachibana's worried about this teammate, we should be prepared."

Kagami scoffed. "He's an ass. Why should we listen to him?"

"Because he's arrogant and if it's enough to worry him into extra practice, I'm worried." Kuroko glanced up at him. "Come on. We can do a practice match." He glanced at Saruwatari. "You're staying too, right?"

Saruwatari hesitated. "I- yeah, probably."

"Great. I'll tell Tachibana."

Kagami caught his wrist before he could move. "I can-"

"I want to." Kuroko fixed him with a small glare before pulling away and crossing the gym.

Tachibana looked up at him and frowned as he neared. "What do you want?" He wasn't as ready to take the offensive without anyone to back him up.

"Kagami, Saruwatari, and I are staying back to get some extra practice." Kuroko shrugged. "Do you want to practice with us? We can do a practice match."

Tachibana's eyes flickered from him to the other two, standing side by side now. "Sure," he finally said, "but you and Kagami aren't on the same team."

Kuroko hesitated. "Okay. I can-"

"I want you on my team. We haven't been on the same team in practice for a while and I want to get used to your passes," Tachibana insisted.

Kuroko paused. There was no way Tachibana could hurt him without the other two seeing. It wasn't like he was with Shougo's team again - in the midst of a match with the referee's eyes focused elsewhere. It was just the four of them. "Okay." He waved the other two over. "So if we do warm-ups again and then a practice match? We can work on technique after."

"Sounds good to me." Tachibana smiled, and a shiver ran down Kuroko's spine.

"So what are we doing?" Kagami folded his arms.

"Practice match - you and Saruwatari are on the same team," Kuroko told him. Kagami's eyes widened. "If that's okay." He almost wanted one of them to object. But Kagami was still in the period of complacency - a time Kuroko could almost curse now - and Saruwatari looked too nervous to object.

"That's fine."

Tachibana's smile grew and he picked one of the basketballs out of the basket. "Then let's go."

* * *

Kuroko stood outside the restaurant, just out of view of the windows. He had almost doubled back twice, and now Kagami was holding his hand to stop him doing the same thing again. "I can't do this…"

"Yes you can." Kagami gave his hand a small squeeze.

Kuroko closed his eyes. He should have bought the damn dress. He had even gone to UNIQLO and tried one on specifically for this. Kagami had tried one on as well for his sake. Instead, last minute, in a fit of 'fuck this', he had bought a black shirt instead, and was wearing it with nice jeans.

Kagami had worn his only shirt to make him feel a little better. He gave Kuroko's hand another squeeze. "Come on. If she says anything, I'll cut her off, okay?"

Kuroko reluctantly nodded. He already said he would. He had to - he didn't have a choice. He took a slow breath and pasted indifference over his face. "Okay." He moved first, releasing Kagami's hand and leading him into the restaurant.

His family were already sitting at one of the tables near the window - his mother and grandmother on one side looking at the menu, and his father on the other watching the door. He smiled as they walked in. "Here they are." He reached out and shook Kagami's hand once they were close enough. "Good to see you again."

"You too." Kagami returned the smile with a grin. He reached a hand towards Kuroko's grandmother. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Kagami, Kuroko's friend."

She chuckled and shook it. "It's nice to meet you too."

"Sorry we're late." Kuroko sat next to his father, with Kagami at the head of the table. "We just missed the train and had to wait a few minutes."

"That's alright." His father clapped his shoulder and passed him a menu. "Take a look and decide what you're going to eat."

His grandmother looked up at him over her menu and smiled. He quickly opened his own and scanned the options. "You look good. Is that a new top?" Kuroko managed a small nod. "Did you like your birthday present?"

He had gotten it over the summer and given it to his therapist for Reo. A black dress with long sleeves and a skirt passed his knees with silver sequins. "Yes, thank you."

His father cleared his throat. "How about we order now." He called the waiter over and let everyone put in their orders ahead of him.

But when the waiter left, his grandmother turned back to him. "Why didn't you send me a photo of you in it?"

Kuroko's nails dug into the back of his left hand. "I didn't wear it."

"Why not?" She looked hurt now, eyes wide behind her glasses. "I got it for you in black and everything. That's your favourite colour, right?"

It was actually red. "I don't like wearing dresses." He pursed his lips in a tight smile.

His grandmother frowned. "Why not? You loved them when you were younger." His nails dug deeper. Yes. When he didn't know that he was different and wasn't a girl and that boys weren't meant to wear dresses.

Kagami coughed. "Well, most boys don't like wearing dresses."

The table grew very silent for a moment. Kagami found his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze as his grandmother gave an awkward laugh and turned to his mother. Kuroko's shoulders tensed as he heard his father sigh, and he looked away. The rest of the meal was relatively uneventful. They chatted about the inter-high preliminaries and who Seirin were going to be playing first, his grandmother's bingo games, and his mother's treatment.

When she was leaving, his grandmother hugged each of them in turn - even Kagami. And when Kagami left, after trying to pay for his portion and thanking them profusely when they paid for all of it, they piled into his father's car.

His mother reached her arm back to hold his ankle - an old gesture they used to do when he was small and wanted a hug, but she was in the front. It did little to quell the anxiety bubbling up in his chest.

"You shouldn't have run off without telling us where you were going," his father eventually said. His knuckles were white against the steering wheel.

Kuroko swallowed. "I know. Sorry, I won't do it again."

"Good." His father nodded. That should have been the end of it but his mother pulled her hand away from his ankle.

"Why did you even run?" She asked, looking at him through the mirror. "She didn't do anything."

"Yes she did." He looked out the window. "She was saying that you being sick was my fault."

His father's shoulders slumped and his eyebrows arched in the mirror. "Are you serious?" He pulled into the car park of the apartment block. "You know what she's like. She wasn't being serious - she's just worried about your mother."

"She was being perfectly serious." Kuroko's nails dug into the back of his hand again. That glint in her eye, the way she grabbed him. She was fully serious.

"Well you should know better than to listen to her," his mother cut in. "You need to be bigger than her."

Kuroko's eyes burned and his throat tightened. "I need to go." He ignored his parents calling after him as he clambered out of the car. He ran up the stairs, ignoring the lift, used his own key to get in and sprinted down the hall to his room. He locked the door as his parents followed him into the apartment.

His father knocked on his door. "Kuro, come on. Open up."

"Please just…" His eyes were burning. "Leave me alone."

"This is ridiculous. Open the door."

Kuroko sank to the floor, back pressed up against the wall. He could barely breathe.

"You're only upsetting your mother."

He squeezed his eyes shut.

"You need to man up."

His eyes opened again and he stared at the locked door.

"Man the fuck up, Emi."

The footsteps left. Kuroko bit his lip hard and tried not to let the water suddenly pooling in his eyes escape, but the more he tried to blink them away, the more they came. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe what she said wasn't that bad. He bit back a sob and pulled his knees up to his chest. Maybe he was killing his mother.

No. No, it wasn't true. His grandmother was just trying to scare him as always. She was superstitious and old. She was scared. But she was right; his mother was getting worse.

Man up. You need to man up. But all he could do was cover his mouth to try and hide his sobs, curled up in the corner of his bedroom, shoulders shaking, body aching. Man up, Emi. He didn't even deserve to be called his name, even in his head. No, that wasn't true. But the words stung, imprinted on the back of his eyes as if he had seen them emblazoned across the night sky in stars.

Man the fuck up, Emi.

* * *

Takeda looked up with a smile as Kuroko entered the room. "Morning Tetsuya."

"Good morning." He gave her a nod and sat down in the empty armchair. The room was stifling, and Takeda fanned herself with a folded paper fan.

"Sorry about the heat. The switch for the heating broke, and it's been on all day." She shook her head and set the paper aside. "How's school and everything been going for you?"

"Okay." Kuroko nodded. He squeezed the arms of the chair. "I… yeah. The preliminaries for the interhigh came out. It looks good so far."

Takeda slowly nodded as well. She was frowning slightly. "You don't seem like everything's okay. Did something happen?"

"Um…" Kuroko scratched the the arm fabric. It was flowery and made of that one material that every therapist couch seems to be made of - the one with the thick threads that he could never remember the name of. "Well… Someone drew things all over my locker. I'm not really sure what because Kagami and the others… hid it from me, but I know they wrote my deadname on there, so now the whole team knows that…" He swallowed.

Takeda was staring at him. She seemed surprised, even though it was nothing she hadn't heard before. Maybe because it was from him. "Really?"

Kuroko nodded. "A first year said he did it, and he was kicked off… I don't really think it was him. He's… He follows everyone rather than coming up with his own things. Maybe I'm wrong."

Takeda shook her head. "You're a veteran when it comes to judging people. I trust you." She leaned forward, elbows on her knees. "Did you talk to any of your friends about it? Or the coach?"

Kuroko nodded. "I told Kagami who came forward. And Riko knows that I don't think it was him, but she had to get rid of him. If I went to the school about it and they heard someone came forward and she didn't do anything, she could be taken off as coach."

Takeda hummed, bridging her fingers. Her two pointer fingers were pressed together, above the others, in front of her lips. "Maybe he did do it." Kuroko glanced at her. "Maybe he was the one to actually write the things on your locker but someone else told him to do it. He has a story to back up how he did it, and you said he was a follower. Maybe he was doing exactly that - following."

"Maybe." Kuroko picked at a loose thread until it came free. "But I'd rather the one who organised it be gone than him."

"I understand that." Takeda nodded. "Maybe if you tell people who you think it is, they can keep an eye on him for you. It might be easier to catch him out like that."

Kuroko hummed, looking down. "Maybe." The carpet had a lot more loose threads than the armchair, and he wanted to pick them all out now.

Takeda watched him. "That doesn't seem to be what's bothering you though. Do you want to talk about it?" Kuroko shook his head. Then nodded. Then shrugged. "Okay. What do you want to talk about?" Another small, feeble shrug. Takeda fell silent, waiting for him to take the initiative.

"I want it to go away," he finally mumbled.

Takeda raised an eyebrow. "Want what to go away?"

"Everything." He closed his eyes. "I just wish that I could put everything on pause so I could process what's going on around me. Everything's going too fast and it feels like five new things are happening and need my attention once one is gone and-" He squeezed his eyes shut. "And I don't know how to handle it. Everything's just- it feels like it's overflowing."

Takeda hummed, lips pursed. "What's causing things to overflow?"

Kuroko shifted in the seat, less relaxed back into the cushion and now perched forward on the edge, taking up less and less space. He curved inward, almost hugging himself. "My grandmother came to visit last week without telling any of us and I just- I panicked. I didn't really have warning so I couldn't prepare myself for it and she said something and- and I ended up running to Kagami's and spending most of the week there."

Takeda's eyes narrowed. "That doesn't sound like you. Even without warning, I thought you'd have just avoided her as much as possible." He'd had one or two conversations with her about his grandmother in the past.

Kuroko shrugged, twirling his thumbs. "She was there when I got home and I just- nothing was really happening, we were just setting up for dinner and she said something, and it just… set me off, I guess."

"What did she say?"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter. It wasn't that big - I just overreacted." Man up. Man the fuck up.

"I've never known you to overreact." Takeda crossed one leg over the other. "In fact, you're more likely to under-react to everything. And even if you weren't, it affected you badly enough that you literally left home for a week to stay away from her. You're allowed to talk about it."

He swallowed. "She, um… she told me that I was killing my mom." He blinked a few times. Takeda wasn't saying anything. "She pulled me over and said we needed to focus everything on her and that I was just distracting from her treatment, and that if she got too stressed it could kill her and that I was causing that stress." He shook his head. "So… I don't know. Maybe she didn't say that I was actually killing her - not directly, but- but when I reacted, she said that I attacked her and she denied ever saying anything and-" His words failed him.

"What the fuck?" He raised his eyes to see Takeda staring at him, jaw slack, eyes wide. "She said that to you?" Kuroko swallowed again and gave a shaky nod. "That is completely out of order and where did she even hear that? Gods, if that were true, every parent would be dead before our kids turned five." She shook her head. "Tetsuya, you didn't overreact at all. If I was there, I probably would have screamed at her."

"I nearly did," he admitted, looking down. "I might have. I don't know. I don't…" He couldn't remember properly. Maybe he was exaggerating now. Maybe he had made half of what she said up. He didn't think he had, but maybe.

"Did you talk about it to anyone?" She shook her head.

"Yeah." He picked at the dry skin around his nails. "I told Kise, Kagami, and Saruwatari."

She paused. "Saruwatari is… one of the first years, right?"

Kuroko nodded. "Yeah. He's nice." He sniffed. "But uh… I didn't really want to talk about it to them. I didn't want to drag the mood down."

"Tetsuya." Takeda moved forward in her seat and offered her hand. When Kuroko took it, she gave his hand a squeeze. "You're not a burden. Friends are there to talk about things like this with. They wouldn't have minded."

"I know." His eyes were stinging. "But still- I didn't-" His throat closed up. He didn't want to lose them over something like this. He didn't want to drive them all away.

"So you didn't have anyone to talk about this with?" She clarified. "Did you tell your parents?"

"I tried," he whispered. "They- uh, they were having brunch on Sunday and wanted me and Kagami to go because it was her last day, but Kagami- when she said something, he called me a boy and they didn't like that and they just got angry with me in the car on the way back." Man up. "They said that I should have known better than to react the way I did."

Takeda shook her head. "From the sounds of it, you reacted fine. I'm surprised you went to brunch with her after what she said. Did any of them bring it up?" Kuroko shook his head. "Do you think they know what she said? Because that seems very unlike them."

"They were in the apartment." Kuroko shrugged. They had to have heard. She had been loud enough for his mom to come in. "They had to but they just… brushed it off." His vision was blurring, and as a tear dropped down his face, Takeda passed him a tissue. "Sorry." He dried his eyes. He never cried. Never. But it was all coming out over the past week - all the pain and humiliation and anger that had built up.

"Don't be sorry." She shook her head. "This is one of the first times I've seen you like this. Usually it seems like you're trying to be the perfect client, but this is good. It's good to let things out."

Kuroko sniffed and shook his head. "My dad told me that I needed to man up afterwards," he whispered, eyes covered by the tissue. "I just… he's always said that I should let things out and now…" He bit his lip. "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologising for?"

"Everything."

"Not everything is your fault, Tetsuya. This isn't your fault. Your grandmother is an old bitch who can't see further than her own front nose."

He just shook his head. "It feels like it's my fault." And then the tears started all over again. Takeda moved closer to him and gently asked if he wanted a hug. He shakily nodded and leaned into her as she wrapped her arms around him. She used a similar perfume to his mother, and that only made him cry harder. He missed her. She was only in their apartment but he missed her.

Eventually, he began to calm down and Takeda returned to her seat. For the rest of the session, they tried to talk about slightly lighter things, but Takeda was frowning when their time was up. She eyed him a little warily. "I'm honestly a bit worried about sending you back into school now. Do you really think you'll be okay? I can ring your teachers and explain you going home if you want?"

Kuroko shook his head. "No, it's okay," he insisted. "I'm fine. Really." He felt hollow.

Takeda nodded. "Okay, you know best." She scribbled his name onto an appointment card and handed it to him. "I'll see you next week. Your sterilisation procedure is around then so if you need to postpone, just let me know. Okay?" He nodded and pocketed the card. As he stood up, so did Takeda. "And Tetsuya, if anything like that happens again, just ring me. We can set up an emergency appointment - you don't need to go through things like that alone."

Kuroko forced a small smile, though they both already knew that he had no intentions of doing anything of the sort. "I will. Thanks, Takeda-san."

* * *

The whistle blew as the ball flew over the out of bounds line. Kuroko pause, doubled over, sweat beading on his forehead already. It wasn't as tough as playing against the Generation of Miracles - not by far - but it was more difficult than he had planned for, especially for their first game.

Tachibana's fear smiled at him, a wild mess of black curly hair and brown eyes. Minamoto. He wasn't bad at scoring or running, and was average with dribbling, but he stole balls faster than they had anticipated, and his teammates made up for the rest.

"Are you doing okay?"

"I'm fine." Kuroko wiped his forehead on his sweatband, standing upright again. This wasn't as bad as it could be, but he would have done more beforehand had he thought it would be this difficult.

Man up. He grimaced and closed his eyes. Calm down.

"Kuroko!" The ball flew towards him. He barely managed to pass it to Kagami, who darted down the court and slammed it through the hoop. Good. They were ahead by a few points, but it was a struggle to keep the lead.

Kuroko turned and ran back to his mark. He did his best to focus on the game, but his mind kept slipping - back to Takeda's office, back to his room, back to brunch, back to the living room.

By the time the bell rang for the end of the first quarter, he was struggling to make his regular passes. Riko's lips were pursed as they returned to the bench. She wasn't quite happy, but they had enough of a lead so far for her to be vaguely satisfied. "Kuroko, are you okay?"

Kuroko nodded. "I'm fine."

"You don't seem it." She tapped her pen against her clipboard. "You're too distracted out there today. I'm going to need you to come off."

Kuroko bit the inside of his cheek, but he couldn't say that he hadn't seen it coming. He was hardly even playing. Kagami tensed. "But without him we don't have any surprise passes or points."

"We've made do before and we'll do it again." Riko glanced at the clipboard. "Tachibana, you can go in his place. Mark Minamoto." Tachibana nodded, but he wasn't grinning like when he played in the Kaijo game. His jaw was set and eyes fixed straight ahead. "Koganei, Hyuuga, you stay in. Fukuda… you take Tsushida's place, and Saruwatari, you take Mitobe's." She glanced up as the whistle blew. "Go. Same format."

Kuroko sank onto the bench, pulling on a hoodie so he wouldn't cool down too much. Minamoto smiled at Tachibana as he walked onto the field, and the latter returned it with a small nod. When the ball flew into the air, Hyuuga managed to grab it and throw it to Tachibana. Kagami was free down at the end of the court, but Tachibana went for a two-pointer anyway, with Minamoto coming up behind him. He just managed to get it in.

Kagami scowled at him. "Learn to pass."

"I thought I had the better shot." Tachibana shrugged and moved back to his place. He tried the same tactic a second time, but Minamoto managed to steal the ball from him and one of the other players scored a three-pointer. By half-time, Tachibana was grinding his teeth and trying to get every point for Seirin just to spite his old teammate. Kagami was the only one who hadn't given up trying to take the ball from him.

Riko glared at them as they neared. They were behind by two points. "Tachibana, pass the ball. You can't carry the team on your shoulders, and you're letting Minamoto get too many."

Tachibana looked away, grimacing. "Sorry. I'll do better."

"Make sure that you do." Riko was still glaring at him as they made their way back on.

Minamoto raised an eyebrow, smile ever-present on his face. "Were you told off?"

"Piss off," Tachibana hissed, eyes narrow.

"You never could share, could you?"

The whistle blew, and the ball was thrown up. Kagami hurled it down to Saruwatari, who scored a three-pointer.

Minamoto's eyes glinted under his fringe. "You could never stand sharing the spotlight, could you?" Tachibana tried to ignore him. He caught the ball as it was thrown to him, but Minamoto stole it. "It's what'll lose you the spotlight entirely."

"Shut up!" Tachibana twisted and knocked the ball out of his hands, towards Hyuuga. The captain seemed surprised but scored another three-pointer. They had regained their lead in the match.

Minamoto just chuckled. "I think that's the first time I've ever seen you pass." His eyes narrowed, head tilting. "I wonder how long this will last."

"You won't be in the games long enough to find out," Tachibana spat. He moved back to his place, passing Hyuuga on the way. "Pass to me."

Hyuuga gave a short nod. Sure enough, the ball bounced towards Tachibana, and he twisted it away from Minamoto. He sprinted down the court, leaving his opponent behind, and passed the ball to Saruwatari.

The other caught it and scored another three points for Seirin. The next time, Tachibana passed to Koganei, who managed a regular two-points. By the final quarter, Minamoto had only managed to steal it off him a handful of times.

Tachibana was grinning again. Kuroko had been subbed in again, replacing Koganei. They weren't just maintaining a steady lead anymore. With Fukuda in the back with Saruwatari, few points were going to Jitsuzen, and Kuroko's passes made it even easier to score. Point after point, Tachibana passed to one of them.

When Minamoto picked up a pattern, he changed it and threw the ball down to Saruwatari. The other first year's range made him fantastic for high throws to other players, and Kagami had grown far more adept at catching anything coming his way.

Tachibana's speed also made him hard to keep up with, even for Minamoto.

The last score was his. Minamoto managed to steal the ball off Kagami and was running up the field, but Tachibana moved in the opposite direction. Kagami caught up to Minamoto and blocked him, and while the latter was distracted, Kuroko managed to knock the ball out of his grip. Saruwatari caught it, and suddenly, it was in Tachibana's hands. He turned, leisurely, and jumped.

One of Minamoto's teammates almost stopped him - almost. But the ball sailed through the net, and a few seconds later, the buzzer sounded. Minamoto was scowling as he made his way back to Tachibana. "You haven't changed," he hissed, even as the small crowd cheered or clapped politely. "This is just another way for you to steal the spotlight."

Tachibana threw him a smirk. "Absolutely." His eyebrows arched. "But it worked, didn't it? Or did you not just lose?" Minamoto opened his mouth to respond, but turned away instead. When Tachibana glanced behind him, Saruwatari and Kagami were there. But that didn't matter, he told himself as he walked to the benches. With the crowd, they probably hadn't heard.

Riko was grinning as they returned to the benches. "Good work. All of you." Her eyes landed on Tachibana. "And it's good to see you're learning to work in a team."

Tachibana smiled and rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry. Minamoto and I never really got on. I guess I let him rile me up a bit much."

Riko shook her head. "It doesn't matter - we won. Let's get changed and go."

Tachibana glanced back and smiled at Kagami. "Sorry for the trouble. Thanks for working with me towards the end." Kagami just nodded. His eyes flickered to Kuroko. "I'm glad you were able to come back in."

"Thank you." Kurko met his gaze. "You did well." Tachibana hadn't done or said anything since the four of them had started practicing together later. Maybe he was learning. Maybe he was getting better, and just hadn't understood.

But Kagami hadn't been grinning as he came off the court - an unusual thing for him. Neither had Saruwatari. "Are you okay?" Kuroko mumbled as they made their way towards the changing rooms.

"Yeah." Kagami's gaze was fixed on Tachibana's back. "I'm fine."

Kuroko chewed his lip. It was Friday, so they had a break. "Do you want to go to the cinema when we finish?" He asked, looking from Kagami to Saruwatari.

For a moment, the latter didn't respond, not knowing the question was also directed at him. When Kagami nudged him, his face lit up bright red. "Um… Yeah, sure! Sorry."

"It sounds like a good idea to me." Kagami shrugged. "What film? And please don't say you're going to invite the other two assholes."

"Nah. Just us today," Kuroko promised. "We deserve it after the match. Besides, they both have games tomorrow." Kagami nodded. "So what do you want to see?"

Saruwatari grinned. "The new Jurassic World movie is meant to be good."

"Nah." Kagami shook his head. "They don't make the dinosaurs with fur or anything."

Saruwatari frowned. "They- what?"

"Look, dinosaurs look terrifying because they're all scaly and their fat is based off bones, which doesn't make sense. A featherless swan is horrifying." Kagami paused and looked at him. "Dinosaurs had fur and feathers. So when they make a movie with accurate dinosaurs, I'll watch it."

Saruwatari's frown only deepened, but he shrugged. "Okay then."

"Hurry up!" Riko called. The rest of the team had already disappeared into the changing rooms.

"What about Love, Simon?" Kuroko suggested. His eyes flickered to Saruwatari.

The first year gave a small grin. "Sounds gay." Kuroko's heart skipped a beat. "I'm in."

"Me too." Kagami stretched. "I've been meaning to watch it."

"Really?" Saruwatari seemed surprised. "It's a romance movie."

"Yeah? And?" Kagami scowled. "I like romance and history movies."

"That- I- Okay." Saruwatari chuckled and shook his head. "It just didn't strike me as your type of film."

"Why?"

"Don't be mean." Kuroko elbowed him and Kagami laughed, clapping Saruwatari's shoulder hard enough to make the first year wince.

"Alright, you're fine."

Kuroko paused as Kagami and Saruwatari pushed into the changing rooms. His mouth felt dry. The bathroom was a little further down the hall - the hall didn't have a wheelchair access bathroom. The door closed in front of him and he turned to leave, but it opened again and Saruwatari slipped out.

"Hey."

Kuroko turned to face him again. "You should go inside and get changed."

Saruwatari smiled. "I will, but you need to change too. Come on."

Kuroko hesitated, glancing down the hall. "I can just use the bathroom. It's easier."

Saruwatari reached for his hand, stopped, and dropped his arm. "Look, they don't know what you're going through. That doesn't excuse what they're doing, but they don't understand. You can't let that stop you from being who you are." His smile softened a little. "Just come in and change. Don't let them scare you off."

"I don't want to start any trouble-"

"You won't. If they start something, Kagami and I will stop them, right?" Saruwatari shrugged. He reached up and pulled his hair out of its ponytail, shaking it loose. "Come on."

After a second, Kuroko released the breath he had been holding. "Thanks, Saruwatari-kun."

"No problem. And you can call me Hernan if you want." Saruwatari chuckled. "It feels weird being called my last name all the time."

"Okay." Kuroko nodded. "Thanks, Hernan. You're a good friend."

Saruwatari's cheeks darkened a little, and his smile grew again. He pushed open the door and walked back into the changing room, with Kuroko just behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Please review and I'll try to get the next chapter out soon!


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